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I had a very similar situation in a girls JH game the other night. Thankfully, my coach didn't go bananas, though for a second, it looked like he might. I got him calmed down and we discussed it after the game. Essentially, I said that the rule allowing a coach timeout when I'm supposed to be calling the game can really be a problem.
I suggest talking to coaches in the pregame introductions. Say 2 things: 1) Coach, if you are up, we need you in the box at ALL times; that rule will be strictly enforced. 2) Coach, we need you to give us a visible signal for timeout or you risk us not seeing it. If you have to get slightly out of the box to get our attention, that's fine, but only for that reason.
Notice, I didn't say "you risk us not calling it" as the rules allow for a oral timeout call. For the life of me, I can't figure out why the fed allows this as it has both ruined the idea of getting your kids to call timeout, and in gyms that are loud, we are going to miss oral timeout calls. At the very least, they should require a signal.
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