My first one was a no-brainer too. LL opening day, 3rd inning - I had to remove a girl for bat throwing (warned once, reminded her as she was coming to the plate, and she still clobbered F2 with the bat).

Coach wanted to protest - so I had teams make sure the books agreed and noted the protest. Manager walks behind me, picks up a rock and chucks it at the backstop in anger. Didn't see it, but his mistake was hitting the metal pole - that thing sang like a soprano. "Coach did you throw that?" "Yup." "Bye"

Second one was even more obvious - coach tells his team (and everyone else) that I have a vendetta against them. Told him that was enough, but the mouth kept flapping - all the way to the parking lot.

-Kono

None this year yet, but I thought I was gonna have one on the boys field. I finished a girls game and was standing between the fields BS'ing with some parents. Wound up telling a handful of kids that they couldn't swing bats in the bullpen behind the dugout (LL has a "no on deck rule"). Coach gets wind of this and reads me the riot act ("Go back to softball", "Don't tell my kids what to do", yadda, yadda, yadda).

The next day, the baseball coordinator calls and asks if I can do a game on Wednesday. I accept, and ask who's playing. Yup!! Coach wisely kept quiet.

As I stated before, I didn't go looking for trouble, but didn't walk on egg shells either.

-Kono

My first ejection
 

My first ejection was also a no brainer (12U). The coach came out to argue a call at the plate. He complained that the tag was high - YADA YADA YADA and I explained to him that his runner never made it to the plate showing him the slide mark. He turns around heading back to the dugout and kicks the fence causing all the bats to scatter. BINGO! Time to go home.

My first ejection was really quite humorous, and had nothing to do with me or my umpiring partner at all. I was working a charity tournament, I believe it was 12U, maybe 10U, and there were these two coaches from the same team, yes, the same friggin' team, who kept arguing with each other on how to manage the game. My partner and I found it humorous for a while, but then, while the team was taking the field, I noticed one coach throw a drink on the other coach. The second coach picked up a bat and was threatening the first coach in the dugout, when my partner and I intervened. We ran them both. Actually had to take time away from the field to escort them separately to the TD and their staff.

My 1st ejection ever, 26 years ago, was in a colt league game. Visiting pitcher really, really good, wish I had gotten his name to see how he did in the pros (catcher said that he'd been scouted). Home team catcher takes 3 called strikes for out 3. He apparently didn't like the calls because on 1st pitch in the top half we had a fastball a little high and inside that he dropped his glove on and let me take in the mask. Got up (it hit high just right and knocked me back) and tossed the catcher. I was so PO'd that when the coach came out to argue the ejection I met him half way and said "Coach, I just got intentionaly beaned in the head. Your catcher is gone, your pitcher was in on it and if you say one word he goes too." Coach believed me. I took more hits because the second string catcher wasn't that good but I'd rather have the accidental ones that I can anticipate than the intentional.

Wow. You guys see far more outrageous behavior than I do.

But nothing compaired to Ed aka Trinity.

It definitely seems like you guys see the STRANGEST and most UNUSUAL things ever. Why don't I get the really good stuff? ;)

CecilOne... THE WHOLE TEAM? Wow, thats cool!

You need to remember this type of stuff is less than 1% of what we see. These are the extreme exceptions.

Came reeeaaalllly close today. Batter out who stepped out of the box (actually in back of the plate, almost on the catcher's foot) to hit the ball. First base coach starts yelling, wants to know where, what box (no lines), all the usual. Then he starts on both teams getting the same courtesy. I say "coach, that's enough!" and he wanders away mumbling. This is only inning 1 of an all weekender, so I say no more. Two batters later, ny partner blows a call at first, calling safe for an out. The defense coach asks for time, gets half way to BU, who waves him off and walks to me. We talk, he changes the call and we're ready to start. Now the third base coach yells "Maybe we only need one umpire". I call time, give him the death stare followed by my favorite question and more stare. Then he's quiet and after the inning politely asks exactly what the batter out of the box did, nods and walks away. Then they are in the field and the first coach is sitting outside the fence half way between their dugout and the backstop. He starts on not "overruling" a call and I say "you are pushing your luck and you are supposed to be in the dugout". A woman in the stands pokes him in the back and he gets quiet. As it's a time limit game, I didn't take time to move him, but no more problem. After the game, a few parents asked if he made an enemy for the weekend.

ok, CecilOne, what is "your favorite question" that followed your death stare ??

Even though I am also a soccer official and even though I have often wished for a legalized pre-ejection, I agree with Elaine that this is not for softball. But being a soccer official, I won't say "UGH" or even ugh. I wonder if they would work in IFS, multilingual like FIFA is.

Well, it finally happened. I would have had my first ejected fast pitch player, but by partner beat me to it. It was really her call anyway, a flagrant crash at home and she was the plate umpire. Both players were injured. That of course turned into a debate with the manager and coaches that almost got them ejected. In the collision, both players were upright and yet coaches and teammates kept saying things like "you can't eject her for sliding". And then some nitwit in the offense team crowd said something about running them over and the defense coach thought it came from the offense dugout, so he came charging out and I had to head him off and get him back to his dugout. Fun game, except for that.

BTW, the coaches from yesterday's "first inning" apologized today, but I'm not cynical about it being at the beginning of their game which I was umpiring.