Frustrations

[Texas Aggie]

I have to say, just as an example to support the OP and not to try and beat anyone up, that I felt this specifically to a thread I started somewhat recently in that I was considering softball. I made what I thought was a completely innocent and moderately irrelevant comment regarding softball games being quicker than baseball games and what seemed like half the responses dealt with that comment (mostly in a critical way) rather than the actual questions I was asking. I started to reply with the reasons I had thrown in that little observation (which incidentally are good reasons) but decided that since the responses I got were petty and often ridiculous, why bother.

Hey, my skin's as thick as anyone and I don't hold grudges. I'm not going to give up on the forum, but suggest a model to answer anyone's question when you might have an issue with something else mentioned:

-- use a phrase like, "just as an aside, I'd recommend...", or "I know you didn't really ask this, but just for something to think about regarding..." or something similar
-- say something like, "I don't necessarily agree with ___, and if you want more information on that, I'll be happy to discuss if you want. Otherwise, I'll let it go."

Obviously, errors on rules and the like need to be corrected. Anyway, I'm sure I've been guilty of this on the other forums, so I can't really blame anyone. Its good to see a self cleansing can and does take place around here.

[Andy]

Good suggestions TA...and something we could all stand to remember.

I know that you post regularly on the baseball board and they can be brutal over there, much worse that we are here. Granted, that does not excuse our behavior, but I do think we do a better job of accepting and welcoming newbies.

From the newbies perspective though, they don't know the tone of the boards unless they have lurked for bit prior to posting. We need to be open and welcome new blood as any contributors could have some valuable experiences and insight.

[NCASAUmp]

I'm also noticing that the Views:Replies ratio on most of the threads here seems to be around 50:1. That means that for every response to a thread, 49 others are watching. Sounds like we have more lurkers than we may realize.

I see much lower ratios on other forums: 20:1, 30:1...

Just one more cause for concern.

[Steve M]

Originally Posted by NCASAUmp

I'm also noticing that the Views:Replies ratio on most of the threads here seems to be around 50:1. That means that for every response to a thread, 49 others are watching. Sounds like we have more lurkers than we may realize.

I see much lower ratios on other forums: 20:1, 30:1...

Just one more cause for concern.

Over the past couple of months, I've done little posting - but I am viewing. Thinking of what I want to post takes enough energy - that I don't have now. Not that I've disappeared completely, but with us having custody, for now, of our 5 & 6 yr old grandkids takes a whole lot more energy now than I remember it doing 25-30 yrs ago. Anyway, I'm one of those increasing the 'views' but not the 'replies'

[argodad]

Originally Posted by Steve M

Over the past couple of months, I've done little posting - but I am viewing. Thinking of what I want to post takes enough energy - that I don't have now. Not that I've disappeared completely, but with us having custody, for now, of our 5 & 6 yr old grandkids takes a whole lot more energy now than I remember it doing 25-30 yrs ago. Anyway, I'm one of those increasing the 'views' but not the 'replies'

Spent a long weekend with a 2-year old granddaughter a few weeks ago. OMG can she keep you running (or in my case ... hopping).

[tcannizzo]

This is not the only message board on the world wide web that has this problem. Each message board has its own cadence and context based on previous posts. Therefore, newbies should expect this and use extra caution on the first few posts; and the regulars should give the newbies some latitude until they have shown that they "know the flow".

But, it all comes down to the written word and the numerous ways that it can be MIS-interpreted.

Let me offer a very powerful snippet from sales training:
A single sentence with only 8 words, can mean at least 7 different things. For example: "I did not say he stole the money"

1. Simply stated without emphasis, it is just a statement of fact, but by tonal inflection, the meaning of the sentence changes dramatically.

2. "I did not say he stole the money".
> Somebody else said that he stole the money

3. "I DID NOT say he stole the money.
> A vehement denial

4. "I did not SAY he stole the money"
> I might have implied it, or wrote it down, but I didn't acutally say it.

5. "I did not say HE stole the money."
> It was someone else who stole it.

6. "I did not say he STOLE the money."
> He was just borrowing it, or lost it.

7. "I did not say he stole the MONEY."
> It was the car that he stole.

This is a great exercise for you to do on your own. Keep saying this sentence with emphasis on the appropriate word, so that the meaning of the sentence is crystal clear. Your communication skills will be automatically increased.

Then, try to figure out how to WRITE WHAT YOU MEAN!

For the message board readers, it is probably a good practice to either give the benefit of the doubt, or either ask for clarification/meaning before responding. This will help minimize the dreaded death-sprial.