He said what?

[JefferMC]

High School JV Fast Pitch Tournament, Championship game:

Situation 1: Early in first inning, ball hits bat, then off batter. Umpire makes dead ball signal, says "Dead Ball! Hit her right there," pointing to the center of the batters box. Easily avoids the foot-in-mouth comment.

Situation 2: Later in same game, R1 on 2B, R2 on 1B, one out. Long fly ball to F9 for a catch (out two). R1 advances to 3B, R2 advances to 1B. F9 throws the ball to F6 who tags R2 at 2B and says she didn't tag up. PU and BU have a quiet conversation and BU rings her up. Half inning over.

Next inning as the female 1B coach approaches the coaches box, the BU walks over and tells her "I hated to bang her like that..."

[bniu]

lol, the funniest one i've heard is one of my fellow umpires asked a coach out on a date during an argument. The coach was so stunned she forgot what she was arguing about. They did end up going out to dinner and a movie after the game. Eventually, they got married a few years later...

[NCASAUmp]

Originally Posted by bniu

lol, the funniest one i've heard is one of my fellow umpires asked a coach out on a date during an argument. The coach was so stunned she forgot what she was arguing about. They did end up going out to dinner and a movie after the game. Eventually, they got married a few years later...

Bad move on the umpire's part. What curveball is he gonna throw her now when they argue? He's already given up his best trick in the book!

[Tru_in_Blu]

Originally Posted by NCASAUmp

Bad move on the umpire's part. What curveball is he gonna throw her now when they argue? He's already given up his best trick in the book!

Well, if'n you're talking tricks, the screwball or riser would work.

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An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.

He walks into their hotel room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different, Bessie?”

Bessie looks him over, “Nope."

Sam says excitedly, “Come on, Bessie, take a good look.

Notice anything different about me?”

Bessie looks again, “Nope."

Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots.

Again, he asks, a little louder this time, “Notice anything DIFFERENT?”
Bessie looks up and says, “Sam, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Sam yells, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT’S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!”

To which Bessie replies, “Shoulda bought a hat, Sam… Shoulda bought a hat."