It's OK to laugh now, but not then
 

A thread of the funniest things you heard on the field but you couldn't laugh because they were serious.

"It was a catch, the ground can't cause her to drop it." On a dropped diving catch.
Or
Player "Shouldn't that be an out?"
BU "Why?"
Player "He didn't take a full swing, that makes it a bunt." On a ball that got past left and almost made it to the 300 ft fence before being fielding resulting in a standup triple.

INF sitch:

Fly ball, F6 camped under it about 10 ft behind third and another 10 feet into the infield from foul territory.

Coach: Did you just call the infield fly?
Me: Yessir, I did.
Coach: Doesn't it have to be on the infield to be an infield fly?

That ball was fair, blue! I heard chalk!

Since I'm usually the only funny person on the field... but I have a crappy memory..

this past weekend:

Catch with live appeal at 2B - I call runner safe. Runners dugout starts yelling "ah they got you they got you you blew that one blue"

Next play, banger at 1B - of course I call out. They start yelling "man the other guy was out and this one was safe you blew two calls in a row!"

"Well it was a maker upper then" They all laugh "Oh OK"

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R1@B1 grounder to F6 who bobbles a little and takes a little time getting to 2B and R1 is cooking .. Very close play at 2B but the BR had given up on the run so was out by a mile for the Double Play.

"You know were buddies blue but that wasnt close, I was safe, he didnt even touch the bag" Me: "Short stop, did you touch the bag?" He of course affirms my wonderful eyesight "Did you get him?" Once again SS affirms my judgement. "See he got you. Even if he missed the bag I got you on the vicinity rule" Him "Oh OK"

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Many Tournaments:
Partner in C - Check swing on a righty.
Coach yelling "see if she went see if she went" so catch asks me.
Me to 1B base coach "Did she go... be honest now?"
So far every base coach as said no.

Sometimes they think its funny, sometimes not.. but I always get a kick out of it.

I have done the same in pool games of tournaments where we are working one man!

Why not laugh? Hey, stupid usually is funny.

I only work 1 man in rec but I've done it there too :) Tournament 1 man is not allowed in our area by contract (except SP).

I follow a few rules I created for myself with it though.. usually just regular pool type games - if its intense I dont do it and I dont do it when it would embarrass the catcher. If she asks on her own I dont do it. If coach makes her, I do it. Just gotta pick your moments.

One man mechanics.

Batter on a check swing and the umpire calls the pitch a ball. F1 asks for help. Umpire steps out pointing to first and yells: Partner, was there a swing.

The umpire then turns facing the plate and yells Yes, while giving the strike mechanic.

The umpire gets back behind the plate and says: Then that's a strike while giving the strike mechanic.

Some of our fields here have the foul line painted on the grass, so there's no chalk...so here goes:

That ball was fair, blue, I saw chalk flying out of the grass! (and where was this coach? sitting on the 1st base side bench when the hit was down the 3rd base line!)

I have one from when I worked 1-man in a slowpitch tournament. I was following BR up the 1st baseline, and had a bang-bang out. Sold the call (or at least I thought I did). Coach of the offensive team comes out and asks me about it (and he was a drunk college kid). I offered to ask my partner for help, and coach said sure let's go to him. Starts to turn, looking for my partner, and then looks back at me, and said, ummm, where is he? I smiled and said, time to go back to the dugout. His head was hanging low on the walk back to the bench.

Me: "I dunno coach, these players are faster than my brain. I thought for sure I heard the sound of leather on a tag."

Unfortunately my evaluator heard that one and I got to hear about it..


Working a flame thrower: Catch - "Where did that miss?"
"Heck I dunno, sounded a little low."

Me to catcher "Hey stop moving your dang glove, how am I supposed to know where the pitch was?"

Me to Shortstop .. runners @ 1and3:
"You guys dont try to pick off that girl at 1 do you?"
"Sometimes"
"Well ok, but you gotta tell me if you get her cuz I sure wont be able to see it."

On an in-the-park HR last night...

Me (to F4): Call the cops.
F4: Why??
Me: That runner blew through every stop sign on his way home. He MUST be drunk.

Hard shot down the third baseline strikes the base and shoots up in the air. I immediately signal fair ball. The defensive coach started screaming "It hit the bag...it hit the bag." I said "I'm aware of that, coach. That makes it a fair ball." "No, no, no, he says. Didn't you see it hit the foul side of the bag?"

This is about the time I start laughing. :D

Response may be something along the lines of "No ****, coach" instead of such the nice little explanation above.

Again, laughing......hard!

As a league official in our company intramural league, I was overseeing two playoff games between the top 4 "C" division teams. We were walking from an upper field to a lower level field and passed in foul territory along the right field line.

A batter hit a liner over the infield into right field near the line which landed fair by about 10 feet. The ever alert right fielder, noting that the ball had some spin on it, ran parallel to the foul line and proceeded to wait on the ball to go foul, at which point I'm sure he would have pounced on it to keep it foul.

As we were passing very nearby while the play was going on, I suggested to him that he might want to pick it up right away. Runners from first and second were high-tailing it around the bases.

His teammates started yelling at him also, and he did finally pick up the ball while it was in fair territory.

Ted