I've Seen It All!!

[JEL]

Had a school program for the youngest rug rat tonight, so had to miss out on games. After the program, we went to a neighboring town to eat. On the way back home I saw the lights and of course had to check things out. There was a 13-15 yr rec game in progress. One team was from home (mine), and were visiting the other city. The 13-15 leagues of both play inter-city, and I have called this same game twice this year. Definitely the best two teams in the league.

Of course from here on out, names have been omitted to protect the guilty!

When I realized who was playing, I then began to "evaluate" the umpiring crew. What a sight! They both were wearing shorts for a fastpitch game. I could have overlooked that, but...the plate guy had on a six stitch hat under his purple mask, BACKWARDS. The bill was laying on his neck! At least the BU didn't have on a backwards hat, he didn't have one on at all! I guess a hat on him would have clashed with the work boots he was wearing.

The PU with the purple mask at least had on color coordinated shingaurds. They were purple also! The kneesavers were your basic black, so I suppose they were OK (yes he actually was using the kneesavers, I mean sitting on 'em). Never was a strike, hammer, or any indication given. He would point out the foul balls though. The count was every so often, but balls on the right, strikes on the left! I always indicate the balls with my hand holding the indicator, that's how I keep my left and right apart. Well he did the same, had his indicator in the "balls" hand, musta just put 'em on the wrong arms!

The BU, (we'll call him Otis, you remember Otis Campbell from Mayberry?) was generally in the proper position, and the calls were fair, but the costume he had on (shirts were not tucked in on either) really detracted from the job.
When the PU pulled his mask (it rarely came off) I found I owed him some sympathy, there was a huge growth of some sort in his bottom lip. Not sure what it was, probably coulda' spit it out though!

To all the Henry's, Bernies, Frank's, Dicks, (who nixed my bootleg ASA beanie at Nationals) and others throughout the years who have stressed the appearnce aspect of umpiring....Thanks, tonight really illustrated the point!

Oh yeah, I have seen this group call before. This wasn't a spur of the moment need an umpire thing, that may be understandable, they are always that unkempt! You've only got one chance to make a first impression, be sure it's a good one!