Gold-Medal Jokes

[rainmaker]

And now...

My all-time personal favorite joke. I've heard it before but it will still be funny a thousand repetitions from now (if you edit out the Puerto Ricans, which I did)...

Romano and The Proof that Jesus was a Black.. Jewish... Irish... Woman...

WAS JESUS A BLACK JEWISH IRISH WOMAN?

PROOF THAT JESUS WAS...

...Jewish:

1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.

...Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady job.
3. His last request was a drink.

...Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

...Black:

1. He called everybody brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

...Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But the most compelling evidence of all - proof that Jesus was a WOMAN:

1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2 . He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for him to do.

[Edited by rainmaker on May 7th, 2003 at 12:21 PM]

[ChuckElias]

Boy, talk about padding your post totals!

Thank you for my award, but my favorite of all the jokes was. . .

Originally posted by rainmaker
Huskerblue and The Sandals!The Jamaican then began screaming, "YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!! YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!

I've told this to a few people and it always gets a fantastic reaction. Great joke!

[ROMANO]

Originally posted by rainmaker
And now...

My all-time personal favorite joke. I've heard it before but it will still be funny a thousand repetitions from now (if you edit out the Puerto Ricans, which I did)...

Romano and The Proof that Jesus was a Black.. Jewish... Irish... Woman...

WAS JESUS A BLACK JEWISH IRISH WOMAN?

PROOF THAT JESUS WAS...

...Jewish:

1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.

...Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady job.
3. His last request was a drink.

...Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

...Black:

1. He called everybody brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

...Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But the most compelling evidence of all - proof that Jesus was a WOMAN:

1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2 . He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for him to do.

[Edited by rainmaker on May 7th, 2003 at 12:21 PM]

THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU..JUULIE!!!
I'M THE WINNER!!!
I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO MY MOTHER..FATHER..AND ALL MY FAMILY..(and to y dog)i can't belive..the OSCAR is mine..
i want to dedicate this winning to all the israeli people that aren't used to laugh very much.. especially in the last time..this victory is a gift,a present to my country that today celebrate 55 years..today is israel Independence day and we all very happy.
i won 3 medals and another medal for the best joke....
peace...
David

[NICK]

Thanks Rainmaker

[Andy]

Originally posted by rainmaker
Is anyone surprised that I am giving the Psykist Medal to

Andy and his Screwing a Chicken Joke!!

A man goes into the local whorehouse and tells the madam that he wants to try something different. The madam says that she has just the thing for him.

She takes him through a series of turning hallways and opens a door to a room. The only thing in the room is a live chicken on the bed.

The man says "Whoa, I didn't mean anything that different!"

The madam convinvces him to try it by offering the chicken to him at no charge.

About an hour later, he emerges from the room covered with feathers and tells the madam that it was the best time he has ever had. He says that he will be back soon!

About a week later, he returns and asks for the chicken again. The madam says that the chicken is not available, but she has something even better. He eagerly accepts. She escorts him to a room with about ten seats in front of a window. There are a few other men in the room. After a few minutes, the lights go on behind the window and a gorgeous couple are having wild sex.

After a few minutes, the man leans over to the guy next to him and says "This is pretty good, huh?"

The guy replies "This is nothing, you should have been here last week. They had some guy screwing a chicken!"

[Edited by rainmaker on May 7th, 2003 at 12:19 PM]

Juulie,

Thanks......I think!?!

[ROMANO]

Juulie,

Thanks......I think!?! [/B][/QUOTE]
Hi fox...TAKE IT EASY ..IT WAS ONLY A NICE GAME...
LET'S WAIT AND SEE WHAT MICK DECIDED..

[mick]

I judge these jokes based upon personal propriety. I ask myself: do these make me laugh, may they make my wife laugh and would I have been able to make my Mom laugh.

Chuck's rope - punniest
PA Coach bell - psychist.
PCCougar's priest - guilt
Romano's Shema prayer - religious
Padgett's parrot - food
Husker blue's sandals - sex
Padgett's eating properly - health
Padgett's underwear - yech

Special mention:
Juulie – Jewish mom’s lightbulb

I offer a gold medal to Padgett, who can be warped, yet has the savoire faire to offer humor that may be served with any meal.

mick

[ROMANO]

ONE OSCAR IS ENOUGH FOR ME...

[canuckrefguy]

Originally posted by rainmaker
Best Golf Joke

canuckrefguy and The Shed Near the Green

Thanks for the award....but I think Andy posted it first! Maybe we can share the honours

[ROMANO]

Originally posted by canuckrefguy

Thanks for the award....but I think Andy posted it first! Maybe we can share the honours

Hi man you are so fast with you'r reaction....cool..
don't be so fast next time..

[mick]

Originally posted by canuckrefguy

Thanks for the award....but I think Andy posted it first! Maybe we can share the honours

You medal is awaiting a determination by the French judge.

[canuckrefguy]

I also have to hear back about the blood doping test...

[ROMANO]

Originally posted by canuckrefguy
I also have to hear back about the blood doping test...

i wish you the best!

[AK ref SE]

Juulie gets the carpal tunnel award! After all those key strokes to put all those jokes on here!

AK ref SE