JOKES!!!

[Andy]

Another blonde puzzle story:

A blonde was attempting to put a jigsaw puzzle together and was not making any progress. She called a male friend of hers and told her that she just could not get the puzzle together. he asked her what the puzzle was a picture of and she said that the picture on the box looked like a tiger.

Well, this guy considered himself a jigsaw puzzle expert so he told the blonde to sit tight, he would come over and help her with the puzzle.

He got to the blonde's house, went inside, and saw that she had the pieces scattered all over the table. He looked over the puzzle and stated "I'm sorry, but no matter what you do, these pieces will never look like that piture."

By now the blonde was pretty distressed and emotional and asked her friend what she should do.

He said , "Well, why don't you get yourself a cup of coffee, sit down and relax for a few minutes. After that, I will help you put all of these frosted flakes back in the box!"

[aceholleran]

A Chinese man is sitting having dinner when, from out of nowehere, someone comes and dumps a hot bowl of chicken soup over his head. He turns around and sees his assailant is wearing a yarmulke.

"WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?" says the confused Chinaman.

"That is for Pearl Harbor," says the Jew.

"Waitaminute," says the Chinaman. "I'm Chinese, not Japanese."

The other guy says, "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" Then he goes back to his table.

A few minutes later, the Jewish guy finds himself doused with a huge portion of noodles. He turns to see his nemesis holding the empty bowl. "THAT'S FOR THE TITANIC!" he says.

"But the Titanic was sunk--"

"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"