JOKES!!!

[NICK]

One Dead Frog
One of the teachers had a kindergartener come up to her and say that he had found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The boy said, "I pissed in its ear." The teacher said, "You what?" He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead

SKINNY DIP
An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice, picnic tables, horseshoe courts, basketball court, etc. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I only came to feed the alligator."
Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill.