JOKES!!!

[rainmaker]

Okay, well, I've been kinda busy dealing with reality, and haven't checked in here until now. But I'm flattered and honored to be a judge! I would like to point out that I was raised on jokes of every variety and have a wide ranging and very versatile sense of humor, and I suppose if I were eligible to win (not being a judge!) I'd get every ribbon in every category. So it's just as well that I'm not eligible. (insert pathetic attempt at smilie here...)

I have to admit, these jokes are really quite good, although I'd like to see more of the shaggy-dog-story-multi-pun-punchline type. These are my dad's favorites, and I'd love to find a new one for him. I also love lightbulb jokes, such as,

Why does it take three women with PMS to change a lightbulb?...




IT JUST DOES, OKAY?!?!?

I guess it doesn't translate very well into print.


How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.


How many mice can screw in a lightbulb? Only two, and they have to use the missionary position.

Here's one I just heard this week: Did you hear about the agnostic Klu Klux Klan? If they don't like you, they burn a question mark on your lawn.

And Steven Wright humor:

My wife and I put a skylight into the livingroom ceiling this weekend. The guy in the apartment upstairs is really, really mad.

I was walking down the street the other day, when the prescription on my glasses ran out.

When I die, I want to go in my sleep like my grandfather, and not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car.

My all-time personal favorite joke:

What happens to a person who is dyslexic, insomniac and agnostic? He lays awake nights worrying about whether or not there is a Dog.

If it's okay with mick, I'll judge on my own, and he can judge on his own, and we'll give more ribbons that way. And I think I'll divide the whole thing up into categories. I'm also gonna include some of the jokes from the basketball board, since I really want to give a ribbon to the one about Moses and the Bush. Also, I want to wait for others to post, so I get a very good choice.

[Edited by rainmaker on Apr 25th, 2003 at 01:28 PM]