JOKES!!!

[U of M Sam]

Sky Popper's deer joke reminded me of this one:

What is the difference between Beer Nuts and deer nuts?

Beer Nuts are about $2.99 a pound and deer nuts are under a buck!

Sam

[U of M Sam]

OK - Halloween joke

A "frisky" husband an wife were going to a Halloween costume party. Prior to leaving for the party, the husband was suprised when his wife entered the living room naked and wearing knee high shinny black boots. The husband indicated they did not have time to "fool around" and requested his wife get dressed for the party.
Wife: "This is my costume."
Husband: "You are dressed as what?"
Wife: "I am going as Puss-n-Boots"
The husband smiled and promptly went to the kitchen, got undressed, cut a hole in a large baking potato and placed on his "male part". Upon his return to the living room his wife was quite suprised and ask her husband what he was doing.
Husband: "If you are wearing that costume, this is mine."
Wife: "What is your costume?"
Husband: "If you are going to the party as Puss-n-Boots then I am going as a Dicktater."

They both promptly changed costumes prior to attending the party.

Sam

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by U of M Sam

The husband smiled and promptly went to the kitchen, got undressed, cut a hole in a large baking potato and placed on his "male part".

I threw mine over my my shoulder one Halloween. Went out trick-or-treating as a gas pump.

It's true, it's true.......

[swvaref]

Why did the blonde have square breasts. She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

[Dan_ref]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

I threw mine over my my shoulder one Halloween. Went out trick-or-treating as a gas pump.

It's true, it's true.......

You threw a baked potato over you shoulder for Halloween?

Whatever...

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Dan_ref

You threw a baked potato over you shoulder for Halloween?

Whatever...

Rather than explain to the humor/follically-challenged one, it might be easier if I just e-mailed you a picture. Gotta warn you though. It's a huge file; gonna take a while to download.

[Dan_ref]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

Rather than explain to the humor/follically-challenged one, it might be easier if I just e-mailed you a picture. Gotta warn you though. It's a huge file; gonna take a while to download.

Big potato, eh?

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Dan_ref

Big potato, eh?

Idaho red.

One eye.

[ChuckElias]

Two elderly couples go out for dinner together. As they're sitting at the table, one of the men says to the other man, "I'm starting to have trouble remembering names of people that I know. I suppose it's natural, but I hate it."

The other elderly gentleman says, "I know exactly how you feel. The same thing started happening to me a couple years ago. But I found that it really helps if I associate the person's name with a picture in my mind. For example, say I want to remember my doctor's name. I picture a flower. It's red. It has a long stem. Lots of thorns. OK! Right, it's a rose!"

He leans over to his wife.

"Rose, what's my doctor's name?"

[ChuckElias]

A logging company in the northwest needed to hire some lumberjacks. The executive had been interviewing applicants all day, when an old, skinny, frail-looking man comes into the office.

The old man says, "You hiring lumberjacks?"

The exec looks him over dismissively. "Do you have any experience as a lumberjack?"

The old man says that he does indeed have experience and the exec asks where he's worked previously.

"The Sahara Forest," the old man says.

"You mean the Sahara Desert", the exec corrects him.

The old guy shrugs his shoulders. "Well, now it is."

[sri8527]

my favorite steve wright,

" i have a map of the united states, it is actual size."