[sportswriter]

John, I really should contact you... as a freelance sports-oriented writer and a ref in my first year, I've already had a few interesting stories.

Here's my fave:

I'm head ref at a spring league game (Canadian rules, 8-13 year olds at three different levels) and the first play of scrimmage on the first posession of the game is a dive left. I'm in the process of following the ball carrier to the left side of the line. He runs into a wall of bodies. He stops, the ball squirts free. Now, in the middle of that wall, there's the ball... I'm standing there, hoping like hell that none of my side guys blow an inadvertant.... when one of the A team players picks up the ball. Now, remember, the ball came loose in a pile of bodies, so I'm a lot closer to the area than I normally would be so I can see who gets what when the ball is eventually retained. Now, I have just realized I am the only official that probably realizes the ball is loose.

Remember the A team player with the ball? Yep. He's got the ball, alright, and he feels it is in his civic duty to do something with it. Like, say, pick it up and hand it to me.

The play is live, there's no whistle, the ball carrier is not being held or tackled, but is really trying hard to give me the ball...

So I'm backing out of there, and he takes one, two steps towards me, still trying to give me the ball. Now, somewhere in all of that, players are still blocking the hell out of each other. About two and a half seconds after the fumble, two of the B team players finally clue into the fact that there still hasn't been a whistle, and see buddy with the ball, trying to hand it to the ref (ie: me) who is apparently not willing to take it.... slowly, you can see the neurons firing. Play is live. Play is live. Ball being waved at ref.

At about the same time, team A player's neurons are going through the same thought process. Team A player realizes the ball is live, and *HE* has the ball. About the time he starts formulating some plan of action as to what to do with the ball, the team B players reach out and whack it loose, dive on the ball, and gain possession. Whistle goes. Team A player most confused. Team A coach about to explode into at least five chunks.....