Another angry coach

shocker · #1 (**permalink**) Tue Sep 23, 2003, 10:15am

I read Mike Sears topic and mine is kind of similar.

I am in my 2nd year and landed a big varsity game. One of the teams is an annual 5A state contender. My WH is very experienced but the rest of the crew was 5 years and less of experience.

To start the game our BJ had an inadvertant whistle on the kickoff return. It just so happened there was a fumble and the home team recovered it. The home team was the kicking team. Well we had to kick off again. This basically set the tone for the entire game for the coach. He was in my ear the entire game. Asking me what games we have worked and in a round about way how horrible he thought we were. If I had more experience I probably would have flagged him but I was unsure. I know he had a right to be mad but after a while it got really old. Most of the things I was getting reamed for were not even my calls. I kept telling him I will find out coach, but he never liked my answers. What was amazing is that he kept telling me he has never seen so many flags thrown. Yet his next tirade was how we have been missing calls. I felt like saying coach if we are missing all these calls, don't you think the one's we are flagging must be correct? I cannot wait to watch the tape. This defintely was a learning experience for me.

How would you handle this type of situation?

cmathews · #2 (**permalink**) Tue Sep 23, 2003, 10:37am

don't put up with it...at some point mention that you have heard enough...but keep this in mind, if you mention that then be prepared to back it up with a flag if it doesn't stop...some coaches, if they find out that they have a new guy working, will see how far they can push..so you need to set boundaries and stick to them...

JRutledge · #3 (**permalink**) Tue Sep 23, 2003, 12:26pm

It is not your job to hear the coach complain all night long. If that coach does not know how to pick his spots, then bang the hell out of him. He seemed to be getting personal about your experience and that is a big time no no. You are not their to get a lecture from him. He is there to coach and if he is trying to distract you, it is not you job to just listen.

One more flag should have been flying.

Peace

mikesears · #4 (**permalink**) Tue Sep 23, 2003, 12:46pm

First off, I would apologize for my crewmates mistake.

"Coach, I know you're angry and I'm willing to accept that your angry and we will take some criticism for it. But we handled an unfortunate incident according to rule and we can't change anything now. I'm going to give you a minute to say what you feel you need to say and then I need you to get back to coaching your kids.""

But, it sounds like this coach was your typical howler-monkey and would rather tell us what we aren't doing right than coaching his kids. If his critism continues into other plays and other situation, it has got to stop. I might respond by saying something like, "Coach, let's get back to coaching. I've heard enough."

If it continues past this, flag him. In my situation, the flag settled him back down into coaching his kids. I didn't hear a peep out of him after the flag and after he vented a little about the flag.

Ed Hickland · #5 (**permalink**) Tue Sep 23, 2003, 09:33pm

Coaches are always suspect of officials they don't know. And, some feel insecure with "rookie" officials, especially, in big games. Or, it may be they don't like the way you look, or, the belt you wear, or whatever...

If a coach is a chronic complainer nothing lights them up better than a mistake. Your job is to put water on the fire. One of the methods that works with some coaches is "the look". Just give the coach the stern look, like I heard you and that is enough. Or, you might add a stern, "Coach!" with the look.

If he is crossing the line you could ask him to repeat what he said, if he is dumb enough to repeat it, he deserves a flag.

You want to avoid a flag on a coach if at all possible. But, if necessary, let him know it is on him. Do not throw the flag with your back toward him. Be firm, turn toward him, and toss the flag to let him know the flag is on him. Be careful to not let the toss show emotion because most of all you do not want to look out of control.

CaUmpJW · #6 (**permalink**) Tue Sep 23, 2003, 09:47pm

Shocker,

My first reaction to a coach who is always complaining is to try a subtle statement to make my point.

"Coach, I appreciate all of your help in watching your opponents commit the fouls that you see that I don't. It appears that you are very knowledgeable in seeing fouls. So from now on, I will only watch your players for fouls and you tell me when you see the opponent foul. Most coaches just laugh and will say something like, "okay I get the message."'

If that doesn't work, then one stern look. After that I flag them.

Tbone · #7 (**permalink**) Wed Sep 24, 2003, 10:36am

"Coach, I appreciate all of your help in watching your opponents commit the fouls that you see that I don't. It appears that you are very knowledgeable in seeing fouls. So from now on, I will only watch your players for fouls and you tell me when you see the opponent foul. Most coaches just laugh and will say something like, "okay I get the message."'

CaUmpJW,
Are you kidding me. The worst thing to do out there is to be a smart a$$. I can't believe the coaches just smile and pat you on the back after a statement like that. This kind of statement drives me nuts more than a complaining coach. And all this talk about stern looks. Do you guys think this coach can read your mind? Guess again. The coach needs to know he is reaching the limit, tell him, don't just look at him like "if you say that again, I going to tell mommy!" Cmathews is right, if he is not going to start coaching, be ready to bust him 15 yards. One other thing, on a play like this early in the game, we can't let it go on all game long and then decide to throw a UC late in the 4th period on a critical drive. If we put up with it that long, we are better off to take it to the house.

JMN · #8 (**permalink**) Wed Sep 24, 2003, 12:57pm

In essence, this is a control thing.

I let a coach chatter a bit, but then I find a way to establish some control. Some ways to do this:

1) Focus him on getting his kids back into the team box

2) If his assistants are yapping, I'll turn to the coach and remind him, " Coach, at the beginning of the game, you told me to communicate with you. Your assistants need to be quiet before we continue this discussion."

3) Walk onto the field a few yards, if he follows, stop and direct him back to the sideline. "Coach, you've got to get off the field before I hear anything you say"

4) If I'm getting nowhere, I blow the whistle, kill the clock, and with an impatient tone, let the coach know that he's holding up the game. "Coach, it's done. You've had your say and we're moving on." This is the time he gets to decide if he wants a flag or to stay for the rest of the game. At the very least, he's embarrassed for stopping the game when all attention is focused on him.

In my book, reminding him that we are responsible for controlling the game is important. I'll go out of my way to work with a coach that works with me and treats me with respect. Lacking this attitude, a coach is not allowed to yell, personally criticize, or disrespect me or my crew if he expects to work with me.