Dishonest Coach

[Rich]

Originally Posted by seanwestref

If a coach wants to take a whole timeout to have a discussion with me, I am fine with that. As long as he remains respectful. How he uses his timeout is up to him; if he does not want to coach his team and make it better, but instead talk to me, that is his prerogative.

It most certainly is *not* his prerogative. I'll answer a quick question, but then I'm going to my timeout spot, which is nowhere near his bench 90% of the time.

Not sure how he's going to continue a conversation long distance since he certainly won't be yelling at me.

Originally Posted by Rich

It most certainly is *not* his prerogative.

Why not? If taking a minute to speak with him will increase and better your communication, why not do it? Coaches are people too. They may not always act like people sometimes, but I would not have a problem talking to a coach for a while.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by seanwestref

Why not? If taking a minute to speak with him will increase and better your communication, why not do it? Coaches are people too. They may not always act like people sometimes, but I would not have a problem talking to a coach for a while.

Because the conversation never goes well. Ever. A question gets answered, but I'm not holding a prolonged discussion with him. It won't appease him, either, so there's no point to it.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by seanwestref

Why not? If taking a minute to speak with him will increase and better your communication, why not do it? Coaches are people too. They may not always act like people sometimes, but I would not have a problem talking to a coach for a while.

I can give you a number of reasons. Here's two:

(1) While you're spending a minute with one coach, how do you think the other coach is reacting?

(2) How will it look when the conversation goes south after 45 seconds and the coach tells you that you suck? What will everyone else see and how will it affect your credibility?

Originally Posted by Adam

Because the conversation never goes well. Ever. A question gets answered, but I'm not holding a prolonged discussion with him. It won't appease him, either, so there's no point to it.

Never say (n)ever! I'm not talking with the coach to appease him. Coaches need to know that you are approachable. If taking one minute to talk with him prevents him from holding a grudge against me for a call I made, or prevents him from complaining to the AD or my boss, it's worth it. I don't need to be a kiss-up, or say he is right, but the basic need for coaches is to know they are being heard. They may disagree with the call I made, and they may let me know about it, but communication is the key.

Originally Posted by Rich

(1) While you're spending a minute with one coach, how do you think the other coach is reacting?

I hope he would be coaching his team instead of worrying about the official and coach having a civil discussion. In fact, I hope both coaches would be concerned with their team's play over my actions as an official, however if one desires a conversation, I will oblige.

Originally Posted by Rich

(2) How will it look when the conversation goes south after 45 seconds and the coach tells you that you suck? What will everyone else see and how will it affect your credibility?

If the coach gets personal, I walk away. Or give him a technical.

Originally Posted by Rich

What will everyone else see and how will it affect your credibility?

Who cares what everyone else sees? I have given several technicals (and I am sure you have as well) to coaches who have said things to me that no one in the crowd heard, and that not even their assistants heard. In such a situation, where no one else heard the comment, should I be thinking "oh, no one else heard that comment, if I give him a technical I will look bad". No. Let me reiterate. If you call a foul and someone yells "he didn't even do anything", do you let that affect you? No, because you know better than the guy in the crowd. You know what you saw, and you called it as such. Again, who cares what everyone else sees? We are not accountable to the crowd.

Reply as you may, this is my last post on this topic. We will have to agree to disagree.

[APG]

It's been my experience that almost nothing good comes from talking to a coach for nearly a minute unless it's a whacky situation and in that case, you're going to be involving both coaches...and I certainly wouldn't want a first year official trying to appease a coach for a minute.

[26 Year Gap]

I wouldn't open myself up to a "That Guy" moment.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by seanwestref

Never say (n)ever! I'm not talking with the coach to appease him. Coaches need to know that you are approachable. If taking one minute to talk with him prevents him from holding a grudge against me for a call I made, or prevents him from complaining to the AD or my boss, it's worth it. I don't need to be a kiss-up, or say he is right, but the basic need for coaches is to know they are being heard. They may disagree with the call I made, and they may let me know about it, but communication is the key.



I hope he would be coaching his team instead of worrying about the official and coach having a civil discussion. In fact, I hope both coaches would be concerned with their team's play over my actions as an official, however if one desires a conversation, I will oblige.



If the coach gets personal, I walk away. Or give him a technical.



Who cares what everyone else sees? I have given several technicals (and I am sure you have as well) to coaches who have said things to me that no one in the crowd heard, and that not even their assistants heard. In such a situation, where no one else heard the comment, should I be thinking "oh, no one else heard that comment, if I give him a technical I will look bad". No. Let me reiterate. If you call a foul and someone yells "he didn't even do anything", do you let that affect you? No, because you know better than the guy in the crowd. You know what you saw, and you called it as such. Again, who cares what everyone else sees? We are not accountable to the crowd.

Reply as you may, this is my last post on this topic. We will have to agree to disagree.

Hey, do what you want to. But remember, there's a LOT of experience here giving you reasons why this is a bad idea. Your posts scream of inexperience and naivety. We dont stay away from coaches during timeouts to be d-bags, we do it because there's very little upside to it.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by seanwestref

Why not? If taking a minute to speak with him will increase and better your communication, why not do it? Coaches are people too. They may not always act like people sometimes, but I would not have a problem talking to a coach for a while.

There is not a single supervisor I know of that wants his officials conducting minute long conversations with the coaches.

There is absolutely nothing to be gained by having this conversation. You are not going to change how you officiate the game and he is not going to change how he coaches. And how much time are you going to take after the time-out when the other HC wants to know what your discussion is about? And when are you going to inform your partner(s) the important information that was gleened from this discussion? Or are only you and that HC suppose to benefit from the conversation?

The coach is there to coach. You are there to officiate, and you are officiating as part of a team. Now what if the other coach wants to spend the next time-out having a conversation with your partner? Now you've put your partner in a negative situation b/c how can he justify walking away from the coach after what you did in the previous time-out?

This is very selfish thinking on your part. You are not giving any regard to the other coach, your partner(s) in that game, and future officials who have to deal with that coach.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by seanwestref

...

I hope he would be coaching his team instead of worrying about the official and coach having a civil discussion. In fact, I hope both coaches would be concerned with their team's play over my actions as an official, however if one desires a conversation, I will oblige.

...

If both coaches should be concerned with their teams instead of the actions of an official than why are you having a minute long conversation with ONE of the coaches? Why doesn't "coaches should be concerned with their teams instead of the actions of an official" apply to the coach trying to engage you in an extended conversation?

Originally Posted by seanwestref

...
If the coach gets personal, I walk away. Or give him a technical.

...

And you'll get lambasted by your supervisor for calling the tech. The PERCEPTION to your supervisor and everyone observing the event will be that you baited the coach into saying something inappropriate.

Good luck with your Don Quixote' approach to officiating.