I remember during my first or second year officiating, one of the veteran members here on the forum posted a list of various responses to use when it might be necessary/appropriate/good management to address a comment(s) from a coach.

It was probably posted back in the 09-10 season and I found it extremely helpful in developing that portion of my game management.

If anyone can search that post, it may be a good time to re-post it given the title of this thread.

Communication With Coaches ...
 

General Techniques:

Statements by coaches don’t normally need a response. Answer questions, not statements.
Let the coach ask their question first, before speaking. Be a responder, not an initiator.
Most coaches will have questions when they believe the officials have missed an obvious call.
Having the officials in closer proximity often calms down the coach.
Be in control and speak in calm, easy tones. Be aware of your body language; maintain positive and confident
body language.
Make eye contact with the coach when the situation allows.
Do not try to answer a question from an out of control coach; deal with the behavior first.
If you’ve missed a call or made a mistake; admit it. This technique can only be used sparingly, perhaps
once a game.
Don’t bluff your way through a call.
Do not ignore a coach.

Specific Communication Examples:

Coach sees the play very differently than the official:
“Coach, if that’s the way it happened/what you saw, then I must have missed it. I’ll take a closer look next
time.”
“Coach, I understand what you’re saying, however, on that play I didn’t see it that way. I’ll keep an eye for it
on both ends.”
“Coach, we’ll watch for that on both ends.”
“Coach, I had a good look at that play and here’s what I saw (short explanation).”
“Coach, I was in a good position to make that call.”
“Coach, I understand what you’re saying, but my angle was different than yours.”
“Coach, I had a great look at that play, but I understand your question and I’ll have the crew keep an eye on it.”
“Coach, I had that play all the way and made the call.”

Coach believes you’re missing persistent illegal acts by the other team:
“OK coach, we’ll watch for that.”
“Coach, we are watching for that on both ends of the court.”
“Coach, I hear you, and I’ll work hard to get a better view.”

Coach is questioning a partner’s call:
“Coach, that’s a good call, as a crew we have to make that call.”
“We’re calling it on both ends.”
“Coach, he/she was right there and had a great angle.”
“Coach, we’re not going there, I can’t let you criticize my partner.”
“Coach, he/she had a great look, but if you have a specific question, you’ll have to ask him/her, he/she’ll be
over here in just a minute.”
“Tell me, I’ll ask him.”

Coach is very animated and gesturing:
“Coach, I’m going to talk with you and answer your questions, but you must put your arms down/stop the
gesturing.”
“Coach, please put your arms down. Now, what’s your question?”

Coach is raising their voice asking the question:
“Coach, I can hear you. I’m standing right here, you don’t need to raise your voice.”
"Coach, I need you to stop raising your voice and just ask your question calmly.”
“Coach, stop yellng across the court, I’m right here.”

Coach is commenting on something every time down the floor:
“Coach, I need you to pick your spots, we can’t have a comment on every single call that is being made.”
"Coach, I can't have you officiating this game."
"Coach, I understand you're not going to agree with all of our calls, but I can't have you question every
single one."
"Coach, if you have a question, I'll answer if I have a chance, but we aren't going to have these constant
comments."
“Coach, I will listen to you, but you can’t officiate every play.”

Coach has a good point and might be right.
“You’ve got a good point and might be right about that play.”
“You might be right, that’s one we’ll talk about at halftime/intermission/the next time out.”
“You might be right; I may not have had the best angle on that play.”
“Coach, I missed it.”

Coach is venting, make editorial comments:
“I hear what you’re saying”
“I hear what you’re saying, but we’re moving on.”

Coach just won’t let it go:
“Coach, I hear you, but we’re moving on.”
“Coach, enough.”
“I’ve heard enough and that’s your warning.”

Original Source: Topeka (Kansas) Officials Association

Great Stuff BillyMac, very helpful.

Probably sounds to the coach like you're still trying to coach, and it's understandable he wouldn't appreciate it. If a ref had told you that in your coaching days, would you? A kid CAN box out even if he's 5-3, and little guys quicker to the ball CAN outrebound bigger guys.

"He was trying to leave the lane and was impeded, so I held off" is a plausible explanation that's a lot easier to hear.

My goodness...bless the dead. Now can you let him rest in peace?

The philosophy of only answering questions should be changed. Some comments must be addressed before a situations gets to the point of causing the almighty stop sign to come out or a technical foul. Also, repeated questions may become an issue also.

Could this kid make a layup? If so, allowing him to remain in the paint without a violation could certainly cause the defense to leave one or two defenders near him. One defender that had to account for him and adjust their defensive position even one step from what it would be otherwise is a disadvantage to the defense.

Game flow is overrated, overstated and overused. Call what needs to be called.

I agree, but I'd have to see how the coach is complaining / commenting. I'm going to let him repeat himself at least once or twice before addressing it -- perhaps he'd just say something once and move off it.

I think communicating with coaches is among the hardest aspects of officiating to grasp let alone master.

I have a couple nuggets of advice based on your situation:

1. We (officials) do not choose what to call... we call what we see occur in the game. We referee all players to the same standard regardless of height, position, or skill level (insert the NBA joke here). So when you mention no advantage gained to the coach, you cannot win.

2. At lower levels, you will have less experienced coaches that will whine for calls like 3 seconds (much like unknowledgeable fans do). I would use it as an opportunity to communicate with the coach. You never know, he could be taking over the varsity team in the near future. You can gain rapport & credibility with him that can start the all-important trust process.

There was way too much conversation about a violation IMO. Even if you didn't call if for that reason, doubt I would have said that much about why I did not call a violation. Even on a foul I am only going to say so much. You will never win with a coach that has a bias to their team and if you called that against their team they would find a reason to not have you call that. Leave the conversations for the bigger things in the game, not a 3 second call made or missed.

Peace

Terrapins Fan, I agree that Advantage/Disadvantage is a factor in the 3 second call, ie. I'm not going to call anyone for 3 seconds because they are hovering at the free throw line with one foot in the lane. Here is where the wheels come off:

1) The player is triple teamed in the lane followed by kick out pass. If that leads to an immediate shot then we definitely had an advantage created for the offense.
2) "I didn't have any advantage" is where the conversation with the coach needs to end. Ongoing descriptions of block out plays and height isn't going to lead to anything good.
3) Talking about the play with a coach for 3 trips is not going to help you. Short conversations and small words will get you out of this much faster. If he persists your stop sign should mean just that, "STOP". Otherwise he has free reign to walk right through it.

If you have the rules on your side argue the rules. If you have the facts on your side argue the facts. In this case I don't know that you had either. He had you on the letter of the law and, if we are to reward good defensive play, he had you on the spirit of the law. This conversation for me would be "I didn't see what you have." End of conversation.

Excellent. I'll remember this one.

You can argue it all you like... but it doesn't make you right. You don't KNOW anything you mention above. You may suspect it, and you may be right most of the time... but he was there - in a spot that cannot therefore be occupied by the defense. You don't KNOW he wasn't going to get the rebound - and I'm sure you've seen shorter players rebound with a taller opponent nearby.

Further... rebounding is not the only thing that happens down low, and not the only thing that the offense can't camp in there to do. The mere fact that the player is where he's not allowed to be is the violation - since he's where he is (as is the player guarding him), defenders cannot proceed through him to get to where they want to go.

So the idea that he has NO advantage by remaining where he's not allowed to be is untrue.

PS - I would stay away from arguing advantage/disadvantage with a coach most of the time (at least in basketball... I can see discussing adv/disad with a coach in football, however). They do not referee - they do not understand that as well as we do. And they see the rule as written, in black and white.

Thanks. I'm gald you like it.

I Already Know, I'm A Bad Boy ...
 

What? Three seconds is a violation, not a foul. Are you implying that advantage/disadvantage may be used for some violations?

Shocked! Shocked I am to discover there is gambling going on in this establishment!

Next I will tell you that the black line all the way around the outside is only a suggestion.