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Old Fri May 18, 2012, 05:55pm
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OT - one more weekend to go

It's this coming Monday that I go into the hospital to have my heart surgery on Tuesday, so I planned a really good weekend. I have 28 Law&Order reruns recorded and I plan to use the rest of the time watching espn. Oh yeah, I might also get some sleep and eat something.
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Old Fri May 18, 2012, 06:10pm
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What ???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Padgett View Post
It's this coming Monday that I go into the hospital to have my heart surgery on Tuesday.
When you get your valve job, you might as well have them rotate your tires, if you know what I mean.

Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
(Isaiah 41:10)



Hey Mark Padgett. I know that you're Jewish, but so was Jesus.

Moses, and Abraham, weren't available.

Why isn't Jesus wearing a mask? Who does he think he is? Someone special? I wonder if he washed his hands?
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Last edited by BillyMac; Sun May 20, 2012 at 12:24pm.
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Old Sat May 19, 2012, 07:45am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyMac View Post
Why isn't Jesus wearing a mask? Who does he think he is? Someone special? I wonder if he washed his hands?
Are we sure that's Jesus in that photo? It looks more like Nicholas Cage.

...and BTW, good luck Mark. This whole board is pulling for you. Please post on the other side. We'll be waiting.
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Old Sat May 19, 2012, 07:12pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bad Zebra View Post
Are we sure that's Jesus in that photo? It looks more like Nicholas Cage.
High praise.

(SNL fans will get that joke.)

Thoughts and prayers going to you, Mark.
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Old Sun May 20, 2012, 10:33am
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Reminds Me Of An Old Joke ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyMac View Post
Why isn't Jesus wearing a mask? Who does he think he is? Someone special?
Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day on the Jack Nicklaus course in Montana. This course had a particularly difficult hole, and Moses expressed his doubts that Jesus could make the shot over the water.

"Watch this, Moses, I think I can do it," exclaimed Jesus. "I've seen Arnold Palmer make this shot, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, then so can I."

Moses rolled his eyes and let Jesus try. Sure enough, the ball splashed into the water. Moses parted the water for Jesus, who went in to retrieve his ball.

Jesus, however, was not ready to give up.

"I know I can do this, Moses. I've seen Arnold Palmer do it, and if he can do it, then so can I."

True to form, however, Jesus' ball ended up back in the water. Moses parted the water, and Jesus went in to retrieve the ball.

"Look, Jesus," said Moses. "Try again if you like, but I'm not parting the water for you again."

"Fair enough, Moses," said Jesus. "But you know, I've seen Arnold Palmer make this shot, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, then so can I."

Once again, Jesus' ball was in the water. Jesus proceeded to walk upon the water to get it.

Another group of golfers came up behind Moses and saw Jesus walking on the water. "Holy Cow!" one of them said to Moses. "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ ?"

"No," said Moses, rolling his eyes. "He thinks he's Arnold Palmer".
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“I was in prison and you came to visit me.” (Matthew 25:36)
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Old Sun May 20, 2012, 02:09pm
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Someone once told me that even God can't hit a 2 iron.
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Old Sun May 20, 2012, 05:45pm
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Question

How many golfers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It doesn't matter. None of them can get it in the hole.
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Old Sun May 20, 2012, 08:01pm
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Good luck with your surgery Mark.
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Old Mon May 21, 2012, 05:22am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JugglingReferee View Post
Someone once told me that even God can't hit a 2 iron.
I thought that it was a 1 iron that God couldn't hit. I can't hit either club.
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Old Mon May 21, 2012, 04:58pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lcubed48 View Post
I thought that it was a 1 iron that God couldn't hit. I can't hit either club.
Well, I can hit both clubs...and I probably would if I ever tired to use one on the course. I just can't hit the ball with either one.
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