OT - one more weekend to go

[Mark Padgett]

It's this coming Monday that I go into the hospital to have my heart surgery on Tuesday, so I planned a really good weekend. I have 28 Law&Order reruns recorded and I plan to use the rest of the time watching espn. Oh yeah, I might also get some sleep and eat something.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

It's this coming Monday that I go into the hospital to have my heart surgery on Tuesday.

When you get your valve job, you might as well have them rotate your tires, if you know what I mean.

Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
(Isaiah 41:10)



Hey Mark Padgett. I know that you're Jewish, but so was Jesus.

Moses, and Abraham, weren't available.

Why isn't Jesus wearing a mask? Who does he think he is? Someone special? I wonder if he washed his hands?

[Bad Zebra]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

Why isn't Jesus wearing a mask? Who does he think he is? Someone special? I wonder if he washed his hands?

Are we sure that's Jesus in that photo? It looks more like Nicholas Cage.

...and BTW, good luck Mark. This whole board is pulling for you. Please post on the other side. We'll be waiting.

[bainsey]

Originally Posted by Bad Zebra

Are we sure that's Jesus in that photo? It looks more like Nicholas Cage.

High praise.

(SNL fans will get that joke.)

Thoughts and prayers going to you, Mark.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

Why isn't Jesus wearing a mask? Who does he think he is? Someone special?

Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day on the Jack Nicklaus course in Montana. This course had a particularly difficult hole, and Moses expressed his doubts that Jesus could make the shot over the water.

"Watch this, Moses, I think I can do it," exclaimed Jesus. "I've seen Arnold Palmer make this shot, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, then so can I."

Moses rolled his eyes and let Jesus try. Sure enough, the ball splashed into the water. Moses parted the water for Jesus, who went in to retrieve his ball.

Jesus, however, was not ready to give up.

"I know I can do this, Moses. I've seen Arnold Palmer do it, and if he can do it, then so can I."

True to form, however, Jesus' ball ended up back in the water. Moses parted the water, and Jesus went in to retrieve the ball.

"Look, Jesus," said Moses. "Try again if you like, but I'm not parting the water for you again."

"Fair enough, Moses," said Jesus. "But you know, I've seen Arnold Palmer make this shot, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, then so can I."

Once again, Jesus' ball was in the water. Jesus proceeded to walk upon the water to get it.

Another group of golfers came up behind Moses and saw Jesus walking on the water. "Holy Cow!" one of them said to Moses. "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ ?"

"No," said Moses, rolling his eyes. "He thinks he's Arnold Palmer".

[JugglingReferee]

Someone once told me that even God can't hit a 2 iron.

[Mark Padgett]

How many golfers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It doesn't matter. None of them can get it in the hole.

[Dan_ref]

Good luck with your surgery Mark.

[Lcubed48]

Originally Posted by JugglingReferee

Someone once told me that even God can't hit a 2 iron.

I thought that it was a 1 iron that God couldn't hit. I can't hit either club.

[Camron Rust]

Originally Posted by Lcubed48

I thought that it was a 1 iron that God couldn't hit. I can't hit either club.

Well, I can hit both clubs...and I probably would if I ever tired to use one on the course. I just can't hit the ball with either one.