Hot dog player talking

[Chris Whitten]

Had the state final for boys Christian School over the weekend. The captain of Team A apparently sensed the need to provide commentary following the first couple of whistles that went against him. Probably should have stopped it after the initial incident, but it was low-key, not showing anyone up, and more like an everyday grumble than anything else. The second one was more audible and demonstrative than the first. I had the foul and went by him on the way to the table and told him I didn't want to hear any more. It worked and we had a good game after that. One of my partners who is a pretty decent mentor suggested that I should NOT have gone to the player, instead, after reporting the foul, gone to the coach and let him handle it. I defended my actions on the spot, but today I am thinking he may have had a better technique. I'd really like to hear how you guys prefer to handle this situation.

[jdw3018]

Frankly, it depends. There are lots of times I communicate directly with players, and telling one that he's questioning too much and needs to watch his step going forward is something I've certainly done many times. I've also just gone to the coach with it.

If it's anything approaching what you might term a "formal warning" to the player I always try to communicate to the coach that I've done it.

[26 Year Gap]

If you mention to the coach that he might want to speak to #32 about the Addressing the player directly could be effective, but addressing his actions to the coach can be MORE effective. Don't beat yourself up about it--learn from it.

[JugglingReferee]

Originally Posted by Chris Whitten

Had the state final for boys Christian School over the weekend. The captain of Team A apparently sensed the need to provide commentary following the first couple of whistles that went against him. Probably should have stopped it after the initial incident, but it was low-key, not showing anyone up, and more like an everyday grumble than anything else. The second one was more audible and demonstrative than the first. I had the foul and went by him on the way to the table and told him I didn't want to hear any more. It worked and we had a good game after that. One of my partners who is a pretty decent mentor suggested that I should NOT have gone to the player, instead, after reporting the foul, gone to the coach and let him handle it. I defended my actions on the spot, but today I am thinking he may have had a better technique. I'd really like to hear how you guys prefer to handle this situation.

I have no problems addressing a player. We do it all the time: "out of the key", "don't carry" - dribbler with no pressure, etc. This one is no different.

I think 3x in my career has a coach said "don't address my player". My response is that we're instructed to be preventative where possible.

[twocentsworth]

talk directly to the player...THEN talk directly to the coach. Tell the coach to address it w/ his player and that if you have to deal w/ the same player again - it's a T.

That way, if/when you do have to whack the kid....the coach knows why and "should" put up less of a fight about it....

"Coach, I talked to #23 about it. I told you to talk to #23 about it....and he STILL did it - you BOTH were warned."

[Adam]

Originally Posted by twocentsworth

talk directly to the player...THEN talk directly to the coach. Tell the coach to address it w/ his player and that if you have to deal w/ the same player again - it's a T.

That way, if/when you do have to whack the kid....the coach knows why and "should" put up less of a fight about it....

"Coach, I talked to #23 about it. I told you to talk to #23 about it....and he STILL did it - you BOTH were warned."

I wouldn't paint yourself into a corner with this threat. Just ask the coach to help you, or remind the player to keep his head. Skip the 'next time it's a T' part. JMO, of course.

[twocentsworth]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

I wouldn't paint yourself into a corner with this threat. Just ask the coach to help you, or remind the player to keep his head. Skip the 'next time it's a T' part. JMO, of course.

Just remember that you "promote what you permit".....

[Rich]

Originally Posted by twocentsworth

Just remember that you "promote what you permit".....

Also remember that you back yourself into a corner with threats.

A warning that the behavior is unacceptable is sufficient, unless the coach has a wood block for a head.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by twocentsworth

Just remember that you "promote what you permit".....

You must be responding to someone else, because I didn't say anything about permitting or ignoring the behavior.

As Rich noted, you can tell them the behavior isn't acceptable without backing yourself into a corner by threatening the coach.

[Loudwhistle2]

I talk to both most of the time, what you did is very common and appropriate for the situation described.

[DesMoines]

Last regular season varsity assignment of the year. This is the third time I've had the team this year (twice at home, once on the road). Early in fourth and a player is grousing at me after I call the foul on him (just like we're discussing above) and so, after reporting, I turn to his coach and let him know he needs to talk to #45, because it's not appropriate.

Coach's response to me (in referring to his player): He's right. That other kid's been jacking him around the whole game.

Your move ... then I'll tell you what I did.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by DesMoines

Last regular season varsity assignment of the year. This is the third time I've had the team this year (twice at home, once on the road). Early in fourth and a player is grousing at me after I call the foul on him (just like we're discussing above) and so, after reporting, I turn to his coach and let him know he needs to talk to #45, because it's not appropriate.

Coach's response to me (in referring to his player): He's right. That other kid's been jacking him around the whole game.

Your move ... then I'll tell you what I did.

I'd probably whack the player and then tell the coach I gave him a chance to take care of it.

[Loudwhistle2]

Originally Posted by DesMoines

Last regular season varsity assignment of the year. This is the third time I've had the team this year (twice at home, once on the road). Early in fourth and a player is grousing at me after I call the foul on him (just like we're discussing above) and so, after reporting, I turn to his coach and let him know he needs to talk to #45, because it's not appropriate.

Coach's response to me (in referring to his player): He's right. That other kid's been jacking him around the whole game.

Your move ... then I'll tell you what I did.

This is exactly one of the main reasons I don't talk to the coach about a player unless they ask me. When I talk to a player about their comments, the whole gym can see that it is not a happy chat and I mean business! Even the coach can tell that storm clouds are brewing.

[rockyroad]

Originally Posted by DesMoines

Coach's response to me (in referring to his player): He's right. That other kid's been jacking him around the whole game.

Me: "Coach, I will watch for that. In the meantime, you can take care of your player or I can. It's up to you."

And then walk away from him/her.

If coach deals with that kid, then we are ok. If coach doesn't, then the next time that player complains to anyone on the crew, I will assess the T.

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by rockyroad

me: "coach, i will watch for that. In the meantime, you can take care of your player or i can. It's up to you."

and then walk away from him/her.

If coach deals with that kid, then we are ok. If coach doesn't, then the next time that player complains to anyone on the crew, i will assess the t.

+1