Problem with a coach

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Newbie77

The coach did have a very brief meeting with the parents after the second practice. It last all of 10 minutes at most.

After, the first game (the girls have now played 5 games) a parent did approach the coach with her concerns. She stated that one of the girls that he benched was a very good ball handler & although he has never coach that player before she could be a good asset to the team. He was even very demeaning to her & stated that he was the coach & she was not. (that game the girls lost. They had more fouls then points. The girls had no plays & looked awful. They only scoreed 16 points but had 18 fouls)

That same parent also talked to one of the heads of the athletic dept since her talk with the coach went so bad but still no changes been noticed. I am advising the parents to write up a coral complaint to the athletic assoc. and the principal.

If the league has a mandatory participation rule then the individual talents of the players should not be part of the discussions with the coach on this subject.

[JRutledge]

I have a novel idea. How about let your kid work hard and teach them that not everyone is going to give them something? Parents in my opinion are ruining kids sports by complaining about everything instead of using those opportunities to teach them values of life. When I was that age if you could not play you did not play in the games. Playing games does not keep you kids from practicing hard or working on their games. Life is not fair and sometimes you have to work harder to get what you want.

Peace

[Adam]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I have a novel idea. How about let your kid work hard and teach them that not everyone is going to give them something? Parents in my opinion are ruining kids sports by complaining about everything instead of using those opportunities to teach them values of life. When I was that age if you could not play you did not play in the games. Playing games does not keep you kids from practicing hard or working on their games. Life is not fair and sometimes you have to work harder to get what you want.

Peace

Exactly. If you want to give her more playing time, you should get her into a Y league or an AAU league or something. Give her a chance to work on her game in the off season. Build her conditioning.

[Newbie77]

In previous years, this school has had A,B & C teams but this year there wasn't enough girls to split into 2 teams.

That being said this coach is mainly playing the girls he has had for the last 2 years & claiming the others are not good enough. Many of these girls do play ball in the off season, including attending basketball camps. I know of one player who gets up early every Saturday & Sunday morning to go to her local YMCA to practice her shooting & dribbling before the court gets taken over by games. To me, that says dedication.

Thanks for all the info & opinion guys!

[Raymond]

If interested more in participation than competition than look for an Upward program. Around here they have various sports through the 8th grade level. My 7th grade son has Asperger's Syndrome and his brain is definitely not wired for competitive sports at this point in his life.

Upward is all about encouragement, fun, and sportsmanship.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Newbie77

In previous years, this school has had A,B & C teams but this year there wasn't enough girls to split into 2 teams.

That being said this coach is mainly playing the girls he has had for the last 2 years & claiming the others are not good enough. Many of these girls do play ball in the off season, including attending basketball camps. I know of one player who gets up early every Saturday & Sunday morning to go to her local YMCA to practice her shooting & dribbling before the court gets taken over by games. To me, that says dedication.

Thanks for all the info & opinion guys!

And they still might not be good enough. That is what sports is supposed to teach you. A coach should play the best players most of the time. It is probably going to get worse in the next year or so for these players.

Peace

[Adam]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

And they still might not be good enough. That is what sports is supposed to teach you. A coach should play the best players most of the time. It is probably going to get worse in the next year or so for these players.

Peace

I don't know, it sounds like there's an actual participation rule in this league that the coach isn't adhering to. You're right, the off-season work doesn't mean they're good enough, but leagues have participation rules for a reason.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

I don't know, it sounds like there's an actual participation rule in this league that the coach isn't adhering to. You're right, the off-season work doesn't mean they're good enough, but leagues have participation rules for a reason.

The bolded part below is starting to make me believe there is no actual rule or by-law stating so and that it's more of a "spirit of the league" kind of thing.

Originally Posted by Newbie77

I don't think she knew what the league rules were at the time of that conversation with the coach. She was told by the head of the Athletic Assoc.. that he believed that coaches were to try to play each player for about a quarter. If a player doesn't play in one game the coach needs to try to play her for 2 quarters in the next league game.

If that is true, then this is not being followed & needs to be corrected.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

I don't know, it sounds like there's an actual participation rule in this league that the coach isn't adhering to. You're right, the off-season work doesn't mean they're good enough, but leagues have participation rules for a reason.

None of us have any idea what is going on and it really does not matter to me. The top players should play and all these little silly rules about who participates is mostly a problem. And when you get to HS there are no participation rules other than to limit how much a player plays, but not required that someone play at all. Also something tells me there is more to this than what we read here. There is a lot of hyperbole in these examples.

Peace

[just another ref]

Originally Posted by Newbie77

In previous years, this school has had A,B & C teams but this year there wasn't enough girls to split into 2 teams.

So how many are on this team? Speaking from experience, from the perspective of the coach, a team with participation requirements with more than 8 players is a challenge. If this team has more than 10, it would be a nightmare.

[kwatson]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I have a novel idea. How about let your kid work hard and teach them that not everyone is going to give them something? Parents in my opinion are ruining kids sports by complaining about everything instead of using those opportunities to teach them values of life. When I was that age if you could not play you did not play in the games. Playing games does not keep you kids from practicing hard or working on their games. Life is not fair and sometimes you have to work harder to get what you want.

Peace

+1, BRAVO Sir

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Parents in my opinion are ruining kids sports by complaining about everything instead of using those opportunities to teach them values of life. When I was that age if you could not play you did not play in the games. Playing games does not keep you kids from practicing hard or working on their games. Life is not fair and sometimes you have to work harder to get what you want.

These are called "helicopter parents", they hover around their kids. The main reason why I gave up coaching a few years ago.

My son teaches college Sociology. He has had parents of his college students call him to complain, comment, ask questions, ask for deadline extensions, etc. And this is college.

As a ninth grader, I was the twelfth man on a twelve man ninth grade team. I only got to play when we had a comfortable lead, late in the game. As a teenager, I played recreation league baseball, an average, or slightly below average fielder, couldn't hit a fastball to save my life. I seldom played. If I ever complained to my father about playing time, and if I had asked him to approach the coach for me, he would have either told me to, "Shut up", or he would have told me to go and talk to the coach myself.

Yes sometimes kids are abused in these situations, and the parents need to be an advocate for their kids, but it has gotten way out of hand.

[bainsey]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

These are called "helicopter parents", they hover around their kids. The main reason why I gave up coaching a few years ago.

If I had a lick of coaching ability, I still wouldn't want to do it today. I've heard too many horror stories from coaches-turned-officials to want to deal with that crap. I'll say it again: Parents get mad at officials for 5-10 seconds, and it usually goes away. People hold grudges against coaches! No wonder the turnover rate is so heavy.

Kids have to learn that life can be competitive. The better you deal with that, the better you can deal with life.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

If the league has a mandatory participation rule then the individual talents of the players should not be part of the discussions with the coach on this subject.

Right, and if there isn't, then the coach is right. Parents trying to second guess the coach's talent assessment has got to be the primary reason people don't want to coach youth sports.

[Newbie77]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

If the league has a mandatory participation rule then the individual talents of the players should not be part of the discussions with the coach on this subject.

I don't think she knew what the league rules were at the time of that conversation with the coach. She was told by the head of the Athletic Assoc.. that he believed that coaches were to try to play each player for about a quarter. If a player doesn't play in one game the coach needs to try to play her for 2 quarters in the next league game.

If that is true, then this is not being followed & needs to be corrected.