Dealing with a carping coach

[Lotto]

One of the local girls modified (junior high school) coaches is constantly carping out loud with the usual stuff---"I can't ever get a call," etc. (At the last game I had with her, she complained to my partner about the fouls being 4-2, not realizing that it was the opponents that had 4 and that her team had 2!) None of the individual comments are profane or personal enough to get any kind of attention, but cumulatively, it's too much. My question: what's the best way to deal with this? I have her again in a week or two and I want to have a game plan.

Thanks!

[Jurassic Referee]

The coach isn't asking a question.She is complaining.She's gonna keep complaining until you tell her not to,and then T her up if she doesn't listen to you.If you don't tell her to stop,then why would you expect her to stop?

Your choice,Lotto!You either put a stop to it,or you put up with it.

[TriggerMN]

In a junior high game, if she wants a call, do the gracious thing and give her one. BOOP!! After the technical free throws, you could always ask her if she wants ANOTHER call..

[BigJoe]

Trigger.................

What ever happened to Minnesota Nice?

You are going to fit right in on this board.

[refjef40]

I agree with JR totally she is only complianing and needs a I've heard enough coach.After that a "T".

[Lotto]

I agree that I need to be more proactive...but how? The comments tend to be short and there really aren't any conversations. Should I stop the game and tell her that I've had enough? Or should I just wander over to her bench and say something after reporting a foul? I guess that I could warn my partner and tell him that we're going to line up the wrong way on a FT so that I will be near her instead of away...

[chayce]

Lotto,

You are on the right trail...a proactive approach usually seems to work best for me. I try the professional approach and say, "Coach, I know I will work a lot better if you are coaching your team instead of officiating. Now, let's both do our jobs and we will get along great."

You have been courteous, professional, and even given them a warning. After that, the choice is theirs. Of course, you must be willing to hand out the "T" if they choose not to participate in your plan.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by TriggerMN
After the technical free throws, you could always ask her if she wants ANOTHER call..

I sincerely hope that you are kidding about that.Not good advice,at all.

[TriggerMN]

ya think?

[just another ref]

Originally posted by Lotto
One of the local girls modified (junior high school) coaches is constantly carping out loud with the usual stuff---"I can't ever get a call," etc. (At the last game I had with her, she complained to my partner about the fouls being 4-2, not realizing that it was the opponents that had 4 and that her team had 2!) None of the individual comments are profane or personal enough to get any kind of attention, but cumulatively, it's too much. My question: what's the best way to deal with this? I have her again in a week or two and I want to have a game plan.

Thanks!

First of all, any coach who complains because the foul count is 4-2 is too ignorant to be out in public without supervision. Then she cemented that diagnosis if she didn't even know which side of that count she was on. You can either just consider the source and treat her like the wind blowing, as long as the comments stay clean enough, or you can give her a simple warning: "Coach, you need to coach your team and let us call the game. Thank you."
Then whack her when she opens up again. If that doesn't shut her up, the second one will.

[BktBallRef]

There are a couple of different approaches you can take.

#1 - This approach is probably best used on a more seasoned coach. We have a local coach who whines constantly. She never really goes far enough to draw the T but she's just irritating. Our crew has always been approachable. But we've taken the stand with this coach that we ignore her. Maybe it sounnds unprofessional but by golly, it works. She used to harp at us all the time. Now, we simply ignore her. We don't answer questions, and we don't respond when she whines. Result - She realizes that we aren't listening to her and she's quieted down considerably over the past three seasons, at least when we work her games.

#2 - Simple. If your association isn't consistent in it's approach, she'll continue to be a problem. If her behavior borders unsporting, warn her, tag her, and sit her down. But everyone needs to be consistent. Most MS/JH coaches are new to coaching and don't really understand what's appropriate behavior. It's up to us to teach them.

JMHO

[Dan_ref]

Originally posted by chayce
Lotto,

You are on the right trail...a proactive approach usually seems to work best for me. I try the professional approach and say, "Coach, I know I will work a lot better if you are coaching your team instead of officiating. Now, let's both do our jobs and we will get along great."

You have been courteous, professional, and even given them a warning. After that, the choice is theirs. Of course, you must be willing to hand out the "T" if they choose not to participate in your plan.

Ref: "Let's both do our jobs and we will get along great."
Coach: "I've been doing MY job, when are you gonna start doing YOURS??!!"

Now what?

BTW, I think Lotto should warn immediately then T. As JR said, it's his choice to stop it or put up with it.

[ScottParks]

Originally posted by Dan_ref

Ref: "Let's both do our jobs and we will get along great."
Coach: "I've been doing MY job, when are you gonna start doing YOURS??!!"

Now what?

BTW, I think Lotto should warn immediately then T. As JR said, it's his choice to stop it or put up with it.

If you've put yourself in this spot, then the answer to the above is a tech. I prefer to give the stop sign and either say that's enough" or "you're done" to tell the coach I want no more on that call. This lets everyone see that you have somehow addressed the coaches behavior before you issue a tech.

Of course I didn't follow my own advice in a rec league game Saturday. 5th grade boys, I call a foul where the defender locked arms with a shooter, pulling him around and causing a missed shot. Coach says loud enough for all 50 people to hear "That's a sissy call". Now, the score of this game is like 6 to 4 in the 2nd quarter, and I'm thinking that a tech would really hurt the kids worse than the coach, so I told him, from across the floor to sit down and be quiet that I didn't want to hear that from him again. He said "I don't have to sit down, why are you doing this?". I told him he needed to sit until he exhibited "good sportsmanship"

Shoulda whacked him and been done with it.

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by BktBallRef
we've taken the stand with this coach that we ignore her. Maybe it sounnds unprofessional but by golly, it works. She used to harp at us all the time. Now, we simply ignore her. We don't answer questions, and we don't respond when she whines.

At camp this summer, Edgar instructed one set of officials to use this "approach" on a particular coach. He'd been out of control throughout the week and Edgar was pissed. "Don't look at him. Don't say one word to him. Don't even listen for a TO request. He doesn't exist today." It was actually extremely funny to watch that particular coach, start off out of control, then get frustrated, then become resigned, then coach his team. We got some really good laughs that afternoon.

Chuck

[rockyroad]

The main thing to keep in mind here is whether or not the coach is distracting you from doing your job. Some officials can simply ignore this kind of behavior, others can't...anytime the carping and harping and whining begins to distract you from the game, tell the coach that: "Coach, I can't listen to you and concentrate on the game at the same time. I can do one or the other. Which do you want?"...always works for me (so far)...if they won't stop, then take care of business and be done with it...you have to decide at what point the distraction becomes too much for you...