Verbal Abuse - how much is too much?
 

New guy here: I was officiating in city league a while ago and during a very heated game I made a delayed call and one team went ballastic. One of the players on the heated team was an official, and he lost his cool. They had no subs, so fatigue was at play, and really he was furious because they lost a giant lead and nearly the game(they won in the end).

I know I screwed up the call so I let it go and ignored him. What consitutes as verbal abuse? Swearing? A player saying "you suck ref!"? Making chippy remarks? Insulting the level you are officiating at?

Any comments, direction, or crazy stories are appeciated.

For the record:
 

I was NOT that player!!:)

There is not a hard and fast rule about "How much is too much". While I think that there are some absolutes: The F word being one, I also think that "You Suck Ref" would be another, unless it was from a fan.
The bottom line is How much is too much is up to the individual. If you think you took too much than you probably did. Which means that next time it happens you now know where YOUR line is drawn and will respond accordingly.

No doubt everyone has a different level.

I won't tolerate profanity. I won't take anything directed at me. Such as " YOU SUCK" or "CALL THE FOUL" ( if they ask me to call a foul I will often give them what I thought they were asking for and it ends up making them even less happy. ) ("T").

On the other hand, " what about the foul" , does bother me. Not much from the stands bothers me, in 1 years I have never had a fan removed. They paid to get in, yelling is part of it, so long as there's no profanity.

Coaches should be the leader of their team, if they are disrespectful, their players will be also. JMO.

I don't care if I do miss the call, I'm not going to tolerate verbal abuse, swearing, or a player saying, "you suck ref."

Not that I've ever missed a call.....
 

+1

I also didn't tolerate it this week when I called a fifth on a Rec player and as he was walking off said to me, "that's the worst call I've ever seen." Whack!

(Incidentally, I've seen allot worse calls than that one). ;)

It sounds like you may be just starting out officiating, if you are (or aren't), I would avoid adult city league games. I only do two adult games a year and that is the christmas alumni games. Adult leagues have more chippy, arrogant players and some of the coaches are more than a complete a$$!! I don't tolerate, "you suck", or other similar verbal abuse, "bad" profanity (whatever that is) is not put up with either at any level. A possible suggestion is officiate 4-6 grade level games to start and work up from there. These games are a lot easier in a lot of ways and you'll see things you never thought possible during a basketball game! Good Luck, when a player or coach is starting to ruin my fun as an official I tend to focus on them and a "T" quickly follows!

1. If it's personal, don't tolerate it at that level. The more you take, the more they'll give.

2. If I know a guy is a ref, he gets a shorter rope due to a higher standard to which I hold fellow officials.

3. If he has taken the opportunity to tell me he's an official (as opposed to me just knowing for various reasons), the rope gets even shorter. If he so much as looks at me sidewise while talking to me, T.

4. I'm convinced that most rec leagues need more Ts handed out, not less.

5. As BktBallRef stated, it doesn't matter if I screwed a call or not; players and coaches don't get to address me like that.

6. Completely separate issue, but you said it was a late call and then that you had screwed the call. Was it a correct call, or was it late and wrong?

Agreed
 

The majority of mine are handed out here......and unfortunately, I'm one of the only ones who hands em out. That's part of the problem. So many officials take it at that level and then when we come along to enforce the rules........oh well! :rolleyes: WHACK!

If they get personal or question my integrity that usually needs to be addressed. Even if you do not give a T, these should be addressed in some way. Either a quiet little talk or sometimes a public one meaning everyone knows I am talking to that player or coach. What you decide to ultimately penalize or not penalize is up to your personal standards and experience. It is also good to know what the standard for that league or level is as well because some assignors/leagues might have a strict policy how to handle certain behaviors.

Peace

I refuse to do adult rec games and don't really like to do any kind of rec game. In the adult leagues, the players are a$$es many times and I refuse to take it so needless to say, it is an unpleasant game for all involved. In the younger rec leagues, while I enjoy working with the kids, I notice I am not as sharp at the next varsity game as I normal am if I did a rec game the night before. I think doing the rec league games actually hurts me as an official as often they want you to be more lenient on calls and I find that hard to do.

+1 Alternating from one to the other is a challenge.

I friend of mine runs a men's league. I've never worked it, but he tells me how he took care of unwanted behavior: fines.

If you get T'd up, it's a $25 fine, payable immediately. You cannot go back into the game until it's paid. (It makes for some interesting scenes of players hitting up their teammates.) If you get a second T, you're done, and you cannot play the next game until $25 is paid.

The league has 17 teams, so they apparently abide by it.

Generally, is the comment 1) disrespectful or 2) unsportsmanlike? Sometimes I like to add a third: Is it something you wouldn't say to a cop who has pulled you over for a traffic violation? How 'bout "you suck, Gumshoe" as he walks up to ask you for license, proof of insurance, and registration?

While I understand your point, how does that comment NOT fit under both one and two?

Why more lenient? Maybe they can play through more contact, but I see no reason to be "more lenient." Just call your game, and don't accept any grief.

You're right, though, if that doesn't work, don't do the games.