Odd situation from my last tournament.
 

I will do my best to explain this one, although figuring out how to explain it is a little tough. It kind of caught me by surprise, and I am honestly interested in the take some of you may have about how this went down.

I was a coaching a 16U boys game at a tournament out of state. Three man crew, and two of the three had called a couple of my earlier games. I rarely speak to officials during games other than for clarification, and my experience with the two had been great.

The game was going well for my team, we were winning a tight one, and I had not made any comments to any of the officials. Late in the 2nd half, my PG was called for a push off while going to the basket. I had no comment on the call (it happened across the court and I didn't see what happened real well). I did feel that #23 from the opposing team had been pushing off earlier, and I asked the ref closest to me (he happened to be one of the ones I had earlier in the tournament) if they could "watch #23 for the push off." The ref I directed the comment to acknowledged my comment, and nothing more was said. He was maybe 3-4 feet from me, and my comment was made in a conversational voice.

We go to haltime, leading by 6. During the half, two of the officials exited the gym, but the third did not, and he happened to be the one who made the push-off call. He came up to me during the half, put his arm around me from the side, and muttered something to me that I couldn't make out. He had a bit of an accent, and it wasn't until he finally spoke up that I got what he was telling me.

Him: "Coach, if you say that again, I am ejecting you from the gym."

Me: "Say what again?"

Him: "You know what you said, and I am giving you a friendly warning. I hear it again, you are gone."

Me: "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Him: "When you were talking to my partner, you said my call was 'b***s***'. I am letting you off this time, but next time I am ejecting you."

At this point, I am stunned. I never said that, and frankly, I never even thought it.

Me: " What? I didn't say that."

Him: "No need to lie. I am letting it go with a warning."

Me: "You don't need to warn me, because I didn't say that! I don't swear on the bench!"

Him: "Yes, you did. I heard you from across the gym. You need to quit lying about it, and accept my warning."

Okay, at this point, I admit I am losing my cool.

Me: "I never said anything like that! I asked your partner to watch the push off on 23. That was all. Your partner would have T'd me if I said anything close to that!"

Him: "You are raising your voice to me. You have to coach another half with me as your referee, so watch yourself. I tried to give you a friendly warning, but you don't want it. I will not be as nice in the second half."

He then exits the gym, and I am now boiling mad. Now, the two referees I had in the previous games were old school guys. By the book, take nothing from nobody, and there was no way either would have let me say a call was BS and get away with it. I also should mention that in general, I was very pleased with the style of game these guys were calling, and there was no way I was looking for drama at that point.

I was also a little stuck as to what to do. My assistant and the table staff both overheard the tail end of this conversation, and all were stunned by what I was being accused of, and we couldn't figure out where this was coming from. I was uncomfortable with this guy waiting to approach me after his partners left the gym, his putting his arm around me (just kind of a weird thing to do), and receiving a "last warning" for something that never happened.

Rather than posting what happened next, my question to the board is what do you think I should have done at this point?

If I was the official you spoke with originally, I wouldn't have minded if you approached me prior to the start of the second half, explained what happened and then asked me to approach the other official to tell him he misheard you.

If, as you say, he had an accent, perhaps he just thought you said "b***s***" instead of "push off". To someone for whom English might be a second language who was standing some distance away, it might have sounded like that.

An alternative would have been to contact the immigration and naturalization service after the game to have them check on the guy's legal status. :cool:

Also, if the guy called me a liar, I would have smacked him upside the head with a frying pan.

I would not have said a word to him the rest of the game; at all. And I would have reported him to the tournament directors. If the opportunity arose, I would have made a point of not talking to him, to be honest, to avoid any possibility of him mis-hearing you.

Did You Say Old School ???
 

He may have heard one of the fans behind the bench. And I agree with Mark Padgett, under certain, very rare, conditions, "Push off" could, and I'm pushing the envelope here, sound like "B*** s***".

The fans were all on the gym opposite of where I was sitting.

I do agree about the "push off" maybe being misunderstood across the gym.

Here is how I handled it.

After the referee in question exited the gym, I approached the site director who heard all of this while standing at the scorers' table, and asked him to let the head of the crew know that I would like to speak with all 3 officials before the second half started. He agreed this was probably a good idea, and said he would take care of it.

The crew, the opposing coach, and I all met in front of the table. I explained to the other two what had happened at halftime, and asked the ref I was speaking with during the game if I said the dreaded "BS" words. He said absoultely not, and told his partner I did not even question the call, and that I only asked that they watch for a push off from a certain number.

I am thinking this closes the matter, but the ref who made the accusation then chimes in, and says "I heard what I heard, and no matter what anyone says, I know what you said." He starts to continue, but I cut him off, and told him that it was never said, his partner who I allegedly said it to didn't hear it, and that he could warn me all he wanted, as I don't speak like that to the referees of my games. I exited the meeting at that point, as did the other coach.

The three officials stayed at center court a few more minutes, and they got into what seemed to be a heated discussion themselves, and then we started the game.

The gentleman I had an issue with gave me "the stare down" whenever he passed by in the 3rd quarter, but there were no further incidents, and we won by a comfortable margin.

This guy seems like a prime suspect for waterboarding.

This is America, we don't torture....my suggestion would be take him across the border then waterboard him....

OK then, how about making him listen to a game with Bob Knight, Dick Vitale, and Billy Packer as announcers?

Well, how many lessons can we take from this fine fellow? While officiating:

1. Don't confront coaches based on what you thought you might have heard.

2. Don't issue warnings in the form of a conditional ("If you X, then I'm ejecting you.").

3. Don't argue.

4. Don't accuse anyone of lying.

5. Don't ever threaten.

Any others?

What you did sounds fair.
 

Like his partners did, "Get in, get done, get out."

6. Don't ask for a conference w/ all three officials and the opposing head coach and embarass one person in front of the whole group....what do you expect to happen? do you think the official in question will feel good about that?

Frankly, I think the official had it coming here; and his feelings don't matter at this point. He just called the coach a liar with no basis. Frankly, I'd like to think my response would have been as measured as the coach's was here.

That would still be torture...his ears would literally pop to the point of bleeding! :D

As an official, I am embarassed.
 

By the behaviour of the rogue ref in the OP? Not so much.

By the mention of a 'bit of an accent' being parlayed into suggestions of an immigration check then on to rendition and torture... yeah, that will do it.

I know attempts at humor can be misconstrued, but I'm cringing at the tenor of this thread.

My 2 cents.

All true, but the coach would run the risk of further angering the official, who has already demonstrated less than ideal ability to hear and understand what he's heard. This could easily lead that official to seek revenge....perhaps tossing the coach for something not at all justified....perhaps for telling his team to run a 2-1-2 zone defense....choosing to hear that as "You're a G...D... M..... F...... <INSERT slur ethnic racial random any>".

The only thing that seems to have prevented that is it appears the other two refs took the guy to mid-court gave him a few "suggestions" before resuming.