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Need to hear some of the best lines you've heard during games....giving a speech in a few weeks, and need some good ones.
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HOMER: Just gimme my gun. CLERK: Hold on, the law requires a five-day waiting period; we've got run a background check... HOMER: Five days???? But I'm mad NOW!! |
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If you included comments from officials, I'd probably use up all the space on this server.
I can't think of any good lines from coaches or spectators. ![]() OK - here's one, but there's a caveat. The spectator was actually another official. It was the Immortal Dave. I was working a game and he showed up near the end because he was scheduled to work the following game. During a timeout, he was in the bleachers and he yelled at me, "Hey Padgett - are you pregnant?" I ignored him. He yelled it again. I said, "OK, Dave. I'll bite. No, I'm not pregnant. Why do you ask?" He yelled back, "Because you missed three periods."
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Yom HaShoah |
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Worth Repeating ...
Comment from a good natured fan (I taught his daughters when they were in middle school): "Hey Bill, do you want me to give the dog in your car some water?"
BillyMac: "What?" Fan: "You know, your seeing eye dog."
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"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) “I was in prison and you came to visit me.” (Matthew 25:36) |
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Excuse Me?
Halftime, B12 Rec League Game.
A Coach comes up and says, "Ref, you gotta watch B5. When he sets his screens, he jumps into the player and hooks his arm and has a tendency to hold." I said, "I haven't noticed it, but I'll keep an eye out." He says, "Seriously, he does it all the time. I know, I taught him last year when he played for me..... He's crafty about it too."
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There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. |
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This isn't from a fan but is from my uncle who reffed high school games in Iowa in the 50's. Some fan was on him so he finally blew his whistle and had had enough. He walked up into the stands and sat down beside the guy. He looked around and said, "Hey, you really can see better from up here." He told me that it got a laugh and calmed everybody down.
My uncle was also famous in his parts for the night he was working a game between two catholic schools. He kicked both coaches that night. They were both priests. I said famous because some 40 years or so after it happened my dad (his brother was the ref) was in a restaurant in that area of the state and an old friend walked up to him and then proceeded to tell my Dad that that is the one thing he always remembered about my uncle was the night he kicked the two priests out of the same game. I've always thought they were good stories anyways. |
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A bank of lights went out during a game & the V team was getting trounced. They took awhile to get to full light & I explained the delay to the coach. He said they might shoot better in the dark.
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Never hit a piñata if you see hornets flying out of it. |
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Quote:
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There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. |
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I believe grunewar is attempting to compare your uncle to one of our "esteemed" (read: old) members here on the forum.
For example: This or this
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M&M's - The Official Candy of the Department of Redundancy Department. (Used with permission.) |
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Before the game I noticed that a V player was wearing a shooting sleeve on his arm, I asked the Coach: "He's wearing that for medical reasons, right Coach?" HIs reply: "Yes, I just wish he had one he could wear on his head".
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