The game from H-E-double hockey sticks

[Mark Padgett]

Sixth grade girls game last night. There's your first clue. This is what we call around here an "elite" league, not just rec but the "top" competition. In the first quarter, we had 17 held balls! No, I am not making this up. The scorer kept track. I don't know how many there were for the whole game, but it was a ton. Score at halftime was 37-3. Final was 58-8. The losing coach lost his AC midway through the second quarter courtesy of my partner. Three girls fouled out but we were never in the bonus. One girl cried when she fouled out, and I mean really heavy tears.

Before the game, my partner asked me if the girl's fingernail polish had to match their uniforms. It took me a moment to realize he was kidding. One team was wearing what could only be described as "neon day-glo" polish in assorted colors. It was bizarre.

There were a few moms and dads taking video. However, I doubt you'll see any of it on youtube.

Oh yeah, the winning team was the visitors. My partner and I got out of Dodge as soon as the final horn sounded. I did notice, however, the home coach kept his girls away from shaking hands even though the other team lined up to do so. There's no "shake hands" rule for this league, or else I would have reported it. It was still stinky sportsmanship. The visitors didn't really pour it on. They were just that much better.