Should Women Officials Seek A Mentor Of The Same Sex?

[JRutledge]

Originally posted by AK ref SE


Why even bring up Gender or race?

AK ref SE

Because it matters. For those of us that are involved in professions or anything for that where we are a great minority (by number, not social status necessarily) it is very helpful to have role-models that have similar background and understanding of what you are to face. This is not about political correctness, this is about reality. And if you have ever been a women or a game with a women during a boy's or men's college game, the coaches treat them drastically differently than the average male. They very much might have to know what to do or how to handle themselves without losing their cool or feeling that the world is against them. But the issue is much bigger than that and I know I do not go to certain individuals if they do not look like me. If I work in mostly rural or "cow" towns and I am the only person of my persuasion there, I think I might have a different set of challenges that someone that looks like the entire crowd or all the players and coaches on the floor. I know several white people that will not even set foot in and all-Black school to play another all-Black school. For someone Black or Hispanic we do this on the regular.

I do not think Charles Barkley made comments about any official in the way that he did about Violet Palmer. At least not calling them basically a "girl" and not being able to keep up with the Men on the court. I think that might be very gender specific. Women officials I think understand that and should seek that advice. But at the same time, you should have several types of people to help you out and should.

Peace

[Doug]

Rut, you don't know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes. You have NO comcept what it is like to be a female official!! Julie and others have brought up very good points, which i as a collegiate female official agree with. I percieve some of your comments to be very narrowminded and derrogetory. Here is some advice my mentor once told me "seek first to understand, then to be understood." I think that is something that we all need to work on (myself included), listining to others points, understanding their point of view, and then giving them ours. With a enraged coach, don't you usually first ask a question to difuse the situation, "coach, why do you believe that was goaltending?" you are seeking first to understand them, then you can respond, and the situation is handled more efficiently. I hope you become a outstanding offical, but this board was designed as a place for officials striving to get better to converse, assist, and be assisted in reaching their goals, and I would love to see this board stay a postive place, so others can gain the same knowledge i have from it. Good luck, and everyone please understand, my intentions wern't to offend anyone

[JRutledge]

Originally posted by Doug
Rut, you don't know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes. You have NO comcept what it is like to be a female official!!

I think that was my point. I do not know what it is like. But unless you are a Black Male, you do not know what it is like or deal with the many issues that I face. That is why I have a circle of Black officials that we all discuss issue of officiating as it relates to us. I would hope if any women official that is out there could, they would do the same thing with the people that they look up to.

I think I can understand more than you realize because I do have a Mother that works at a University, which she has been for 26 years as a Professor. And she was at one time the only Female Chairperson that University had and had to deal with many professional issues as it relates to her gender and race. I also have extensive conversations with her about many issues of professionalism and politics that she not only teaches about but has had to deal with in her long career. Especially the fact that she attended some very good school, much better than her peers at this University and others across the country.

I will never say I completely understand, but I sure as hell can empathize a bit and notices the challenges that women face in officiating or anything for that matter. I have seen gender roles all my life, live and in full color.

Peace

[rainmaker]

Rut -- Wow, your mother sounds like a fantastic person, and I wish I could know her, I wish my daughter (who is black) could know her!

Rocky road is right to say, "Choose a mentor who will make you better." The only thing to add, is that probably the person who can make you better, is someone who can answer your questions. If one person can't do it all, such as a woman who doesn't have time to take on another mentee, or a man who doesn't really understand my issues as a woman, then I may need more than one. Like Rut says, a circle of people to talk to about different things is probabaly the best.

[JWalker]

Well, this statement had nothing to do with who our partners are, instead, it talks about mentors. I, being a female, dont really see anything wrong with having a male mentor... but that is just for me. It is sad that some people might 'fall for' their mentor. It probably wasnt even that the guy was good looking... she probably just saw something in him that was missing in herself, and thought it could be sexually transmitted.
So, bottom-line... grow up, get some self-respect, and keep your legs closed.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by JWalker

So, bottom-line... grow up, get some self-respect, and keep your legs closed.

You shoulda told Bill Buckner that about 16 years ago!

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by Jurassic Referee
You shoulda told Bill Buckner that about 16 years ago!

JR, as Bill Cosby's wife would say. . . "I have had enough [b]of YOU!!!![b]

Chuck

[JRutledge]

Originally posted by ChuckElias
[B]

JR, as Bill Cosby's wife would say. . . "I have had enough [b]of YOU!!!!

Chuck

The only problem is, Bill Cosby as millions upon millions of dollars. Not quite the same.

Peace

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by JRutledge
The only problem is, Bill Cosby as millions upon millions of dollars. Not quite the same.

Peace

Huh? Not following you, Rut.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by ChuckElias
[B]

JR, as Bill Cosby's wife would say. . . "I have had enough [b]of YOU!!!!

Chuck

Please accept my deepest apologies,Chuck!!It will never happen again.

However,the following IS a true story:-after that particular World Series game,Bill Buckner was so despondant that he threw himself off of a subway platform outside the stadium,before his team-mates could stop him.Fortunately for all concerned, the train went through his legs!

[JRutledge]

Originally posted by ChuckElias

Huh? Not following you, Rut.

I am sorry, I was watching the Cosby show when I was writing this. Bill Buckner probably still has his millions he made during his playing days. That is why she would not leave.

Peace

[JWalker]

Who's Bill Buckner???

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by JWalker
Who's Bill Buckner???

He's a former major league baseball player,who was recently inducted into the NY Met's Hall of Fame.

[JRutledge]

Originally posted by Jurassic Referee

He's a former major league baseball player,who was recently inducted into the NY Met's Hall of Fame.

Man that is cold.

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by JRutledge
I am sorry, I was watching the Cosby show when I was writing this. Bill Buckner probably still has his millions he made during his playing days. That is why she would not leave.

I think you misunderstood my comment, Jeff. "I have enough of this!!!!" is a line from Bill Cosby's movie "Himself". It's what his wife says right before she goes berserk and starts beating the children. The full quote is something like:

"My wife then announces that the beatings will now begin. . . by saying 'I have had enough of this !!!' "

Basically I was telling Jurassic Ref that his beating was about to begin Apparently the Sox applied the beating today as they whooped the Yanks 7-1.

Chuck