They play a differenet game, Down Under!

[BktBallRef]

From the "You Don't See That Every Day" file comes this delightful story from the wonderful world of Australian Rules Football:

Nibbling Nuts Costs Footballer Ten Weeks

Peter Filandia was suspended for 10 matches by the VFL Tribunal last night and ordered to have counselling before he can play again after being found guilty of biting an opponent's testicle.

It was one of the most unusual and bizarre cases to come before a football disciplinary tribunal. The tribunal said that Filandia had done "untold damage to the game of football" and it was something he would have to live with.

That ain't all he'll have to live with!

Filandia, the captain and assistant coach of Port Melbourne, was found guilty of biting Springvale's Chad Davis in Sunday's match at Port Melbourne. He pleaded guilty under provocation, saying his action was a result of panic when his head was caught in a scissors hold by Davis' legs.

If you've made it this far without falling from your chair in a fit laughter, stick around because it gets better.

Filandia said, "It was a split-second decision made in a state of panic - and I emphasise panic - to release his grip around my neck and mouth."

Davis received a small puncture mark and bruising over a two-centimetre area of his scrotum. Although aware at the time that he had been bitten, he was not aware of the bleeding until after the game. He was put on antibiotics and both players had blood tests.

It seems Filandia was attempting to ensure Aussie Rules was not "left behind" by competing code rugby league, so to speak. Last season Wests Tigers player John Hopoate was forced into temporary retirement after he was found guilty of conduct unbecoming by the NRL judiciary. The conduct in question? Inserting a digit up the arse of opposition players when he tackled them. Hopoate claimed it was intended to "unsettle" his opponents.

YUCK!! I wonder what Charlton Heston would have to say about that?