Help me ...I'm wrestling with myself...

[Coltdoggs]

The summer ball topic got me thinking a bit more....

I've posted on here for awhile...will be starting my 8th year of calling games in the fall. I've been open about the levels I work which is mainly Jr High, Freshman and AAU stuff. I was once state licensed but did not do any HS games. I've worked some JV and Varsity level games during summer but not really had the desire to work regular season HS for whatever reasons(read on). I coach my young kids and I'm very active in our community rec leagues both as a board member and ref and I really love the game and care about it regardless of which hat I'm wearing....

Officiating....I take whatever games I'm doing seriously regardless of level and I work hard to be in position and am always willing to listen to a more experienced official....After 7+ years and lots of summer ball the past two years...That's usually a guy who works HS ball.

I get complimented on my officiating from these guys but I am really struggling with the upper level games I'm officiating in summer particularly 16U and 17U level and to an extent some of the 15U teams but more so the JV/V level. I've been both praised by coaches and railed on (I take it all with a grain of salt)

I have talked with several guys and I have told them I really think I let a lot of contact go....I think I'm a pretty loose.... My Ps tell me I'm fine but sometimes I just question myself...there will be contact but I'm just not convinced it affected the shooter and I let it go. Of course this is sometimes to my detriment...I try to look at it from the standpoint of "if I were playing, would I expect that called for me".

One of my assignors at our multi court facility (lots of AAU tourneys and summer HS league stuff) he will assign me anytime I want and we have a good relationship...I talked with him about it and he told me with the upper level to protect my shooters but with the bigger kids they'll play through more of the contact that might create adv/disadv on say a 7th grader who is smaller.

Outside of asking my assignor to evaluate me on a couple games...what can I do to overcome this mental block? I feel I am at a point where I might be close to overcoming any fears I have of doing regular season games at the HS level...but this is my one hangups.