I'm moving:(

[rainmaker]

Other important Portland information.

At least a time or two, you need to watch Perry Mason re-runs at noon. It's been on continuously since whenever Perry Mason started back in the '50s.

You'll also want to carefully choose your county of residence. The political lawn signs are a good indication where the county lines are.

Start now following the Trailblazers. They may fall apart later, but if they don't you'll want to be conversant with the details of this season.

Portland has the most stable home prices in the country right now, so be prepared to pay full price. You probably won't be able to take advantage of the big foreclosure boom.

Most of all, learn to say, "It's just a sprinkle, what's a little bit of rain?" Anyone that ever complains about the rain is automatically tagged as an outsider. YOu decide whether you want to be a native or a permanent visitor.

We drink milkshakes here, not frappes. We have potluck dinners, not covered dish dinners or carry-ins. We carry purses, not handbags or pocketbooks. And we drink pop, never soda. We go to the beach, not the shore, and we have El Ninos and El Ninas. And the hottest political issues are land use planning, water rights, land use planning, smokers' rights, land use planning and let's see, oh yea, land use planning.

If you're already doing college ball, you won't have any trouble breaking into it after a year or two. They always welcome a new person with skills, at least at the CC and NAIA level. But no matter how much experience you have, you won't get any varsity your first year. It just doesn't happen.