If you are the R

[Mark Padgett]

I tell the scorers that they are considered part of the officiating crew and must remain neutral during the game. I tell them that if they show any partisanship at all, I'll run their a$$. I make sure the person keeping the book is using a pencil with an eraser and that the person running the clock can count to over ten without taking his shoes off. I tell them that if they brought any food, they have to give half to my partner and me. Finally, I tell them that if a sub reports to the table without having his jersey tucked in to smack him upside the head.

Then I get the coaches together and ask them if they want to buy foul insurance.