How to honor my daughter

[swvaref]

Hey guys. Just want to thank everyone of you for your kind words,prayers and support during the passing of my daughter Kassidy. As you know basketball season is around the corner. I used to take Kassidy along with her sister Courtney to alot of my games last year. I want to do something to honor Kassidy during my games( a white ribbon on my shirt for example), I would like to get your advice about something to honor her. I have talked to my assigner and he has given me the ok. What do you guys think???

www.kassidyspage.com

[Dan_ref]

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I never lost one, but came pretty close. More than once as it turns out.

Whatever you do is what you do.

You are in my thoughts.

[zebraman]

Swvaref,

My heart aches for you and your family when I read the journal and look at the pictures.

Like Dan says, you'll figure out what is the best way to honor her. It'll just come to you and be the right thing.

You are in my thoughts.

Kevin

[Mountaineer]

On one hand, I think just going back out will be honoring Kassidy's memory. If it were me, I think I'd have a small K monogrammed into the one of sleeves. I'm afraid a ribbon would be a problem - how do you attach it? what happens if it falls off? I'd think a local sporting goods store would be willing to stitch it in for you on your shirts for little or no cost.

I would also think that just before the ball is tossed in every game, a glance heavenward to acknowledge Kassidy is watching you ref would be a nice gesture too. After all, this is something that will help you remember and that pause will certainly do that.

The fact that you want to honor and remember your sweet daughter is a wonderful thought. Best wishes to you and your family.

[JRutledge]

You will honor her by keeping her memory alive. You will honor her by telling your story.

I hope I never have to experience what you have gone through. I cannot even imagine your situation and I am not a parent. Just continue your life with her memory close by. I am sure people will learn from your situation and telling your story will be the best way to honor her in every way.

Peace

God Bless you and your family swvaref. I have two daughters around Kassidy's age and can't imagine the pain you've endured. May you find peace among your family and friends.

I like the idea of the small monogrammed K on your sleeve. Heck, I'd even do it in pink.

[Nevadaref]

Originally Posted by PYRef

I like the idea of the small monogrammed K on your sleeve. Heck, I'd even do it in pink.

I too think that this is a wonderful suggestion. On one of my officiating shirts, I have a "JR" and a patch of a bear's head just above the cuff on opposite sleeves to honor the memories of two of my fellow officials who have recently passed.

No one that I have worked with has ever voiced a negative comment over these. In fact, I have only received positive feedback from fellow officials who have stated that they should do this as well.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to understand it. I can only hope that you are, or will someday be able to, reflect upon the unfortunately too brief period that you shared with your daughter and know that those moments were a graceful gift.

[Jimgolf]

All our prayers are with you. God bless.

When my father died, my nephew got a tattoo of a phrase from my father's favorite hymn "Be not afraid".

If tattoos are a little extreme for you, perhaps you could get something embroidered on your shirt, if Kassidy had a favorite line or saying.

[Rich]

I think a small embroidered K somewhere on a white stripe on your shirt (perhaps on the arm, near the bottom) would be perfect. It need not be black as far as I'm concerned -- make it Kassidy's favorite color.

As others have said, I hope that you continue to heal and that your faith remains strong.

--Rich

[Scrapper1]

How about a small black patch, with her initials in pink, placed on the back of the shirt just below the neckline? This is where some officials put the flag. It seems like a reasonable place for a patch.

[rockyroad]

As others have said, I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through...as far as honoring her, the best way that you can do that is to live your life in a way that will make her proud of her daddy. For reffing, put a monogram or patch on your shirt, but I would also put a patch on the sleeve of my jacket - that way you have something people can see during the warm-up times too.

[Mark Padgett]

I hope this doesn't sound silly and I apologize if it does, but did she have a favorite article of clothing? You might take a small swatch of that, embroider her initial on it and sew it on your jacket or shirt.

Again, there is no way we can even come close to understanding the pain you must be going through, but I hope you take comfort in the fact that we all support you and wish you the best.

[refnrev]

Your sense of loss must be overwhelming some days. I hope you'll always know that there is a love and strength that will always be with you. No one undertands how you feel better than our Lord does. The best way to honor your daughter will be to be the honorable man, Christian, (father if you have other kids,) and husband that she would want you to be. Also, always try to keep her best qualities, of which she obviously had many, alive. As for your uniform and how you wish to do something, you have had many good suggestions. What is it that you really want to do and what will be meaningful to you? It is such a personal thing. Do what you need to do and don't look back! Hang in there. Many people are still praying for you and your family. Have a great season. And if you need some extra support post here. There's some good guys who will respond with support!

[TimTaylor]

Danny,

I can't add much to what others have said. Open your mind and your heart, and you'll find what is right for you.

Peace be with you and your family. You are all still in our thoughts and prayers as your healing process continues.

[BBUMP99]

I am very sorry to hear about your loss...I know all too well that it is a tough road to go down, my prayers go out to you and your family...Our baseball umpires association lost an umpire last season and for the remainder of the season we wore black armbands with his initials on it, and those of us who were really close to him still wear them...