I watched the movie version on HBO. It's one of the first times I remember watching an "adult" show with my parents and them laughing as hard as I was. My poor mother was in tears and barely able to breathe during the dentist bit. ("How can I ribinse, when I hab no bottom libip? Oooookaybee!")

That's easy. Liquid Propane. Duh.

The longer you officiate, the less emotion you'll have in these situations. I used to get a little firey at times when coaches were a pain, but the more times you go through it, the less it bothers you. After a while, you just throw the T and move on. I work one JH tournament every year for an assignor. This year I had a dad come on the floor after his kid was ejected from a game (one of the reasons I work this tourney is that 1 T and you're done for the game, 2 and you're gone for the weekend). I suprised myself because I had no urge to say anthing to the irate father. I just stood back, let our game management escort the guy out, and got back to work. A few years ago I may have gotten myself into a shouting match with the guy. Experience goes a long way in this business.

Or you just shake your head and walk away -- find a reason to talk to your partner on the far block or something. Takes two to argue about something. After seeing your back for 10 seconds, the coach will likely go back to coaching.

I got to say, when I read that you were watching an "adult" show with your parents, Cosby didn't come to mind.:D Back in the day I did a Cosby bit at the all-state speech contest. Buck Jones, it was a favorite. Sorry, this is turning into a "bragpost". I was an all state speech selection 2 years running. Let me know if you want autographs.;)

Who said I want to bang him?

If he asks in a reasonable, respectful manner I'll explain what I saw. No biggie.

If he's anything less than respectful then I take care of business, regardless of what you think I can or cannot do. No biggie.

Don't you introduce yourself to the coaches before the game starts?

I don't mind when a coach calls me by my name. I'm sort of impressed when a coach I don't know actually remembers my name half way thru the second half.

I'm partial to the "Why is there air?" album.

I have always felt like it means something when someone knows and remembers my first name. Gentlemen, think about it for a minute. You meet a young lady and she remembers your name from a previous meeting. You probably made some kind of impression for her to remember. Not really the same thing as a coach, but hey - I'm just saying!