Being shown up?

[Chess Ref]

I am one of the newer officials who is trying to learn the game management skill set. I also work in a Assoc. where giving out a T to a coach is perceived to be a sign of having BAD game management skills.

1st year-my skill set consisted on trying my hardest not to hear the coaches--I was unsure of myself and lacked confidence and I am sure I projected that to the coaches. Lots of games that went sideways.

2nd year-starts out the same as the first. It's not getting any better. I start practicing the 3 step system then the stop sign and then the T. I actually give a couple of T's. It gets a little better. Then something clicks inside of me. I utilize the 3 step system and start T'ing where appropriate. I talk to coaches-sometimes successfully and other times not so successfully. I even baited a coach into a T. Not happy about that one but I learned what not to say to a coach.

3rd year-I do summer leagues. I talk to coaches. I use the 3 step system. I am getting confident and I believe the coaches are sensing that i will take care of business. 12 games so far. Talked one coach off the ledge. I answer questions. I enforce the coaches box in a direct manner. No T's. No sideways game. I am enjoying my games.

The most important thing for me was I realized the Assoc. group attitude about T's and game management was causing me to allow my games to go sideways. i was afraid of what they would think of me. I wanted good ratings so in my mind no T's- good ratings. I now have the attitude I do what I do,strive to improve, continue the 3 step system, and let the ratings fall where they may. My ratings skyrocketed after I learned how to take care of business and became willing to take care of business.