Mick, you have me at a disadvantage because you know a good story about me and I do not know how you heard about it but I will gladly tell the story.

First off you have to remember that I am a structural engineer so I am use to doing due diligence on behalf of my client. A few years ago I was officiating in a girls' spring tournament (that was made up of AAU and YBOA teams) at Eastern Michigan Univ. My partner was a lawyer, who speacilized in civil litigation.

I was the R for the game and during the pregame Steve and I were checking for jewelery and other illegal stuff on the players. One of the players was wearing a ring. I informed her that the wearing of jewelery was prohibited. She informed Steve and I that she could not get the ring off. We told her that we could not make her to take the ring off but she could not play while wearing the ring.

A few minutes later her coach approached us. Her coach was her father and he said that he did not understand why his daughter could not wear the ring. I told him that it was a safety matter and that whether I am officiating or engineering I always put the safety of my client first.

At this point the coach informed us that he was a dentist and he would never put in patients at risk. I told him that since he was a dentist then he should understand the liability risks that sports officials face. He then said that he would sign a waiver for his daughter promising not to sue us if she got hurt. I told him that it did not matter becuase if she did get hurt he would definitely sue me. The coach then said that he would never sue me if his daughter got hurt if we allowed him to sign a waiver.

At this point, Steve, my ever helpful partner, told the coach that he was a litigation lawyer, and if I allowed him to sign a waiver for his daughter and she got hurt, he would sue me for him. The coach looked at him in disbelief and Steve assured him that he would sue me. The coach looked at me and I told him that Steve would sue me. The coach then decided we were serious about the ring and he made his daughter go into the restroom and use soap to remove the ring.

Amazing how her finger shrunk that quickly! Whenever a player tells me "it won't come off", I ask him (or her) if they were born with it. When they say, "HUH?", I tell them that if they were able to get it on, then they're able to get it off.

Then I give them the choice of playing or not playing. There is a post on another board about earrings and it says to offer the player three options:

1) they can take the earrings off and play
2) they can leave the earrings on and not play
3) they can take their ears off and play

When you tell them the third, say "your coach will hold them for you until after the game."

Does that apply to other piercings as well? Maybe we could sneak into coaches' houses, give them all tongue rings, then say "Sorry coach, but rules 2-3 and 2-10 require me to remove your tongue." If any coaches can figure out those rules, let them keep the tongue and the ring.

How are you going to do that? The last time I checked, the zoo had locks on all the howler monkey cages.

Removing tight rings
 

BTW, not that I carry it, but Windex or other window cleaner works better than soap to remove tight rings.

Re: Removing tight rings
 

Richard (and others): IANAL, but please don't offer a chemical to a player for any reason, even just to help get a ring off. Here's why - you offer chemical, player accepts, player uses, player has allergic reaction, player's parents sue your *** off.

IANAL. . .
 

BIPOOTV?

Re: IANAL. . .
 

I think it's now "BISAAHILN"

Re: Re: IANAL. . .
 

BIPOOTV? BISAAHILN? OK guys - I give up. I stopped at IAABO (I Am A Blind Official).

Re: Re: Re: IANAL. . .
 

IANAL -- I am not a lawyer. . .
BIPOOTV -- But I play one on TV

Somebody's going to have to help you with the last couple. I was stumped too, just didn't want to admit it!

Chuck

BISAAHILN - . . . but I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night!