T or no T ???

[rainmaker]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I disagree with this to some extent. Not all kids respond to the same type of comments. I can tell you if you work in some areas and you try to be a "nice guy" they will eat you up and talk back to you even more. This comment was not profane or necessarily confrontational. You are letting the kid know that he needs to play the game and not worry about what you are doing. I tell kids often "This is not the NBA." They get the message and we move on. Of course you have to have the demeanor to pull it off and you have to say it in the right tone. If this comment gets the kid to shut up and play the game that is what we want. We have many tools at are disposal and every tool does not work for every situation. This might work fine under the right circumstances and with the right official.

Peace

Jeff, you're right that it's important for each ref to size up the situation and the personalities in each game. Sometimes a tough guy style works well, and sometimes it backfires. The same with a nice guy approach. Personally, I find that I can't go too far in one direction or the other, and I try as hard as I can to stay very, very neutral in terms of confrontation and appeasement. But that's just what works for me. In this game, the more styles a ref can use, and the more types of kids she can read well, the better the reffing will be.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

Jeff, you're right that it's important for each ref to size up the situation and the personalities in each game. Sometimes a tough guy style works well, and sometimes it backfires. The same with a nice guy approach. Personally, I find that I can't go too far in one direction or the other, and I try as hard as I can to stay very, very neutral in terms of confrontation and appeasement. But that's just what works for me. In this game, the more styles a ref can use, and the more types of kids she can read well, the better the reffing will be.

Ultimately players want to play. Sometimes you have to let them know that if they want to play, they need to knock off the BS. How you reach that conclusion and what you say is going to vary greatly based on the experience you have and the type of game you are working. I know some players approach me when they would never approach my partners. Knowing this you have to say sometimes let it be known they need to move on. I cannot tell you what to say or what not to say. I also cannot tell you what is appropriate. As far as I am concerned if we do not curse or use totally inappropriate language, we have the right to tell players what we need to so they will comply. If they do not comply, you do what you have to do.

Peace