Communication Skills to Coaches & Players.

[Official99]

I am the opposite and am a firm believer in talking. Even if I am talking aloud to myself.

I am honest with them and if they ask a question I give them the best answer I can. But I also like to talk to them and initiate the conversation. I like talking with the players. I want to let them know I am there. I find that words of encouragement to players on both teams, at both ends of the court, can really help a game and diffuse intense situations quickly.

When I am administering the free throws you will always find me saying things like "great hustle gentlemen" or "keep up the hard work guys". And if there is a loose ball and a lot of hustle I will always be encouraging the players on their hard work of getting on the floor. A lot of times, kids have the persona that refs are only blowing the whistle when they do something wrong (i.e. foul, violation, etc) why can't they see us from the other side too? The side where we can encourage them for their hard work.

I have been to a lot of camps, and I have never been docked for the way I talk to players. In fact, most of the time I am praised.

Talking to people, any person, is a gift. Some people have it and some people don't. It is however, one of those gifts, that after time, anyone can possess. Just remember not to rush what you want to say, take your time and say it. Be polite and expect nothing less in return. Especially with players and coaches. I observed a game last year where a coach was upset with an official, he wasn't yelling. But as soon as the referee turned and yelled for him to "shut up" he started yelling back! If the referee had only calmly asked the coach to return to his box or even just went on with the game, the whole problem could have been avoided.

Also remember not to single out players. If you are saying something loud enough for everyone to hear, it should be addressed to everyone (i.e. "good work gentlemen" as apposed to "good rebound 23"). Singling out players leads to many problems. If you have something that only that player should hear, then pull them aside and whisper it.

One last point I want to mention, why do we have this thing where officials walk over to their partners and tell them "this coach has been warned"? You fight your own battles and I will fight mine. Just because you have a problem with this coach doesn't mean I should too, and if he was warned by you, he wasn't by me. I understand that we should be "uniform" but not in this case. If you want to T the coach up, then go ahead and do it, but don't expect me to T the coach up because the first thing I heard him say based on you telling me he was "warned". Fight your own battles when it comes to coaches!

Good luck in talking to your players and coaches, Luis. You will get the gift, if you don't already have it.