I know that this is probably very subjective but what kind of comments are acceptable and unacceptable from a coach? I know that some coaches like to "work" the referees but I was wondering when their comments overstep the boundary. I have some examples below and could you tell me which are acceptable and not?

1. "What kind of call was that?"
2. "You've got to be kidding me!"
3. "C'mon ref, you have to call it both ways!"
4. "1, 2, 3" (counting 3 seconds for you)
5. "Oh! That wasn't a foul!"

I know that some comments are more neutral, like when coaches point out violations, like calling out traveling or double dribbles, but I was wondering about if these are ever acceptable.

I would probably ignore all 5 of those comments.

I would ignore all those comments unless I was standing right in front of the coach and we made some kind of eye contact.

Peace

1. Ignore.
2. Ignore.
3. If I hear this a couple times, I may tell a coach that he can question my calls all he wants but I will not have my integrity called into question. I'll tell him that nicely and firmly. Once.
4. Again, if it's repititious, I may tell the coach, "I'm well aware of the rule, coach. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll take it from here."
5. Ignore. After all, if I called it, it was. Although I did give a coach one who spent the better part of a minute, "Come on! You've GOT to call a foul!" I did.

...And you were working Lead, ... opposite ? :)
mick

none of these directly deserve a response - repeated use of 3 and 4 will get a word or two from me and stop sign - then trouble might ensue.
But as long as it isn't demeaning, personal, flagrant, or persistent, I have more important things to worry about than the coach.
Most of the time they call themselves!

1. ignore
2. ignore (until I could think of a snappy comeback)
3. make sure he sees me glancing at the team foul count on the scoreboard
4. repeated use of this one would probably graduate from stop sign, to warning, to tech
5. ignore

He would not get that far. :D

Peace

Thanks everyone. I have to referee (reluctantly) for our 5th and 6th grade teams because our games are early and referees can't make it to our games in time. Most times coaches behave themselves but I have a hard time blocking out their comments. Sometimes when they beg for a call or they point out a call, it makes it very difficult for me to blow the whistle because I don't want it to seem like I'm responding to what they're asking for. It's good to know how and what they can say. Everything other than, "that's a good call ref..." usually raises my blood pressure when I'm doing the job...

What you may need are some simple verbal acknowledgments <U>to</U> the coaches to let them know that you heard them:
"I'll watch for that."
"I'm looking for that."
"I understand."
"Love your tie."
mick

I would comment to 3 if I was near him. I would take care of 4 at the next deadball or if I was near him.

For the most part I would initially ignore these comments but don't allow him to %*$(@ the whole game. Tell them to shutup and don't put up with it. I know in rec ball I have a low tolerance for these types of coaches and I have seen many officials take way to much chirping from the coaches at this level. Just my opinion.

The problem with this question is the fact that there is no one size fits all answer. We all do not have the same threshold for what coaches might say. I know for me I have fewer patients for coaches at the JH levels. Coaches at this level should be coaching, not focusing on me. When you work college and HS ball, the coaches tend to pick their spots and know what is acceptable. If coaches are newer at the HS and college level, they soon learn what to not do. I worked last night with a coach that was newer the last few years and I had T'd one of his assistants last year. This coach used to complain on just about every call. I had him twice within a week (Friday of last week and Wednesday of this week) and he could not have been a nicer guy in both games. I think most experienced officials would ignore a single comment like you have listed. If those comments persist, then their might be something most of us might address. Also it does matter the tone of the comments and are they yelling the comments all across the court or are the coaches having a very quite word with you one on one. Only experience is going to determine what an official can tolerate or have to address immediately.

Peace

At this level, all 5 of the comments listed will be dealt with the same way.

1. First offense; ignored.
2. Second offense; ignored.
3. Third offense; warning.
4. Fourth offense; T.

Step two will get skipped if the 2nd offense occurs too quickly after the first.
"Assistant" coaches at this level get even less leeway.
1. First offense; warning to head coach.
2. Second offense; T.

For a variety of reasons, coaches at this level have no business challenging calls.

I ignore them all. However, as a coach and a ref, I am sure I give the coach's way too much rope. However, its never gotten me into a bind....yet.

I always thought the stop sign was a warning. Or, more to the point, the (singular) warning.