Wait, I have this Ben Wright quote running through my head. ;)

Do you mean Steven Wright?

Nah, I mean Ben Wright. Ben Wright was the golf analyst that got fired from CBS Sports about 10 years ago for saying, amongst other really stupid things, that women cannot be as good as men in golf because their breasts get in the way. For some (purely innocent, I swear!) reason that quote popped into my head when I read "physics."

Anyhoo, here's a story that has the quote:

http://www.glaad.org/media/archive_detail.php?id=240

I'm a bit punch drunk -- I drove 128 miles one way to work a game that was 28-12 after one quarter and during which we called about six million fouls, including an intentional on a breakaway with about 2 minutes left -- the foul was on a kid from the team winning by 25 points.

--Rich

I was riding the bus and I set down next to this beautiful asian woman who was crying.

I asked her what was wrong and she said, "You are a complete stranger, I can't tell you."

I said, "Sometimes it's easier to tell a stranger."

So she says, "I just came from my psychiatrist and he said I'm a nymphomaniac, but I'm only turned on by Jewish cowboys."

I said, "Let me introduce myself, I'm Bucky Goldstein.":D

Ben must not watch much women's golf because most of them don't have any....well, you get the picture. :D

"I was walking down the street when the prescription on my glasses ran out..."

"My wife and I put in a skylight this weekend. The people in the apartment upstairs are really pissed!"

I moved into an appartment with a switch on the wall that seemed to do nothing. Every time I walked by it I would switch it on & off, but nothing happened. Two months later I got a letter from a woman in Germany, it said "Cut it out".

If you are traveling at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights does anything happen?

I bought a box of powdered water, but I did not know what to add.

I've been so depressed.

I was seeing this young lady, she's originally from Ireland. She's an illegal alien, she's not registered.

I don't what happened. But, she broke up with me so I reported her to immigration.

I'm sorry, sweetie if we can't be together, you gotta get the f*** out of my country. :D

I got a job at a factory that makes fire hydrants but I had to quit. I could never find a place to park.

I fell in love with my dental hygienist, so every time I went in for a cleaning I'd eat an entire box of Oreos in the waiting room.

They'd have to cancell the rest of their appointments.

The ball comes to rest in a dribbler's hand about 400 times per game in a D1 basketball game. Did I say game, I meant half. That's a lot of "tweets". Let me know how that works out for you (this was not meant as an insult, just a quote for my favorite show, PTI, that seemed appropriate).

"I don't have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once. He was fun when he was a puppy. I named him Stay. When I'd call him I'd say C'mere Stay C'mere Stay and he'd go like this... He's a lot smarter than that now. Now when I call him he just ignores me and keeps on typing."

I have heard Reggie Greenwood say a couple of times that it is better to make a mistake by omission rather than commission. We have the benefit of replay and slow motion to comment on this play. A slightly delayed whistle was used to make this call and Gary Maxwell did a good job on the call. The defender was obviously put at a disadvantage by this move and he did carry the ball.

For the poster that mentioned how many times carrying occurs in a D1 game you should also consider how much contact occurs and a variety of things. It would probably take 5 hours to play a game if things were called black and white. Hank Nichols does stress the need for calls like this to be made and Gary Maxwell made the correct call. I'm not pointing any fingers at anyone here, but it is funny to me how sometimes officials who make calls like this are criticized but officials who make more than 14 obvious mistakes in a national semi final are looked up to. Baffles the mind.

I live on a one-way, dead end street. I don't know how I got there.