Tolerance for Coach's Comment - Help!

[Sven]

Boys’ middle school game last night. Visitor blowing out the home team. Partner is trail, ball side. Just before the end of the 2nd quarter, he passes on a bump of dribbler A1 by the defense. I see it peripherally. Dribbler plays through the bump.

After the buzzer sounds to end the first half, I check the switch of the arrow and turn to see that my partner has been sought out by an animated team A coach, who’s questioning the recent no call on the bump.

By now both teams have left the floor; my partner has some experience and (I think) should be able to extricate himself gracefully from the situation, but coach is still wanting to know why he didn’t get that call. I walk over and listen briefly. Then I calmly say, “Coach, your team needs you in the locker room.” My thinking was to help out my partner by ending the conversation.

If looks could kill, I’d be dead. Coach locks on to me with a glare and seems to be thinking of a retort he can get by with, but he does begin moving away. As he does so, I hear him mutter under his breath something about “getting homered at home.”

At that precise moment, starting the second half with a T did cross my mind. At the same time, I remembered what so many have said on this forum about using the technical to make the game better. So, I decided to try having the last word instead (I know I should know better...) and said to his now retreating backside, “Coach, that’s enough of that kind of talk.” More muttering; this time unintelligible.

Partner and I talked about putting Coach A on a very short verbal leash for the remainder of the game.

Second half went surprisingly well from an officiating point of view. Coach A had little to say and nothing volatile, so I think the decision not to T him for the “homer” remark was the right one, but I’m still not sure. I do know that a T would have made ME feel as though I had put the coach in his place, as in “I'm not gonna let you get by with that ...”

In the end, I guess I chalked up his comment to a coach looking for someone other than himself or his team (or a superior opponent) to blame for the lopsided score.

Would you have issued a T?

Sven

[Adam]

Yup. He directly challenged your integrity. And he did it in a middle school game. Given that he gave you the death glare first, it would have made it easier for me.
That said, don't kick yourself too hard for it. Seems like he took some happy pills in the locker room. Maybe he just needed a stiff drink.

[Junker]

In your post you say that you walked over to the coach. Why go to him? If you stay where you are and he comes to complain to you, its an obvious and easy T for everyone in the gym.

[BamaRef]

I think you did the right thing. If the only reason to give a T is to make you feel better, then pass on it. It sounds like the game went better from then on. Keep up the good work.

[ChrisSportsFan]

that bump messed up his 15 point play that would have turned the game around completely and he could have went into half-time with a whole new ball game. come-on Ref

why do these people think we really care about who wins and who loses? could you imagine if in his classroom he graded on a curve. little Joey Padgett gets a D or F so now there is a parent/teacher conference arranged. could you just picture Mark going in there and telling the teacher/coach that his son is getting homered on his report card? justice served!!

[buckrog64]

We have all worked plenty of games where the first half was non-stop nagging and the idea is that the second half will be only worse, when the nagging is then almost non-existent? Why? Because they realize the nagging doesn't help. Certain things put me over the top when it comes to issuing a T, and anything from a coach or player with the phrase 'homer' in it will mean a couple of free throws and possession for someone.

I have always gone to center court and met my partner there prior to going to the table. Allow players and coaches to retreat to the locker room and once they have gone then go take care of the arrow and books. This makes it difficult for a coach to get cheap shots in like the one you described. I have also had coaches specifically try to wait at the table so that they can get something said to me or my partner and if you wait at center court until they have gone to the locker room you take that possiblity away.

This was a mechanic that I was taught a few years ago that has saved more than its share of coaches from getting T'd up after the half is over.

[David B]

Originally posted by Jerry Blum
I have always gone to center court and met my partner there prior to going to the table. Allow players and coaches to retreat to the locker room and once they have gone then go take care of the arrow and books. This makes it difficult for a coach to get cheap shots in like the one you described. I have also had coaches specifically try to wait at the table so that they can get something said to me or my partner and if you wait at center court until they have gone to the locker room you take that possiblity away.

This was a mechanic that I was taught a few years ago that has saved more than its share of coaches from getting T'd up after the half is over.

The coach should have never been able to get to one official.

Meet at center court and wait for the players to exit.

If the coach has something to say, he will have to say it to both of you and that shouldn't take very long.

Thanks
David

[gordon30307]

Originally posted by Sven
Boys’ middle school game last night. Visitor blowing out the home team. Partner is trail, ball side. Just before the end of the 2nd quarter, he passes on a bump of dribbler A1 by the defense. I see it peripherally. Dribbler plays through the bump.

After the buzzer sounds to end the first half, I check the switch of the arrow and turn to see that my partner has been sought out by an animated team A coach, who’s questioning the recent no call on the bump.

By now both teams have left the floor; my partner has some experience and (I think) should be able to extricate himself gracefully from the situation, but coach is still wanting to know why he didn’t get that call. I walk over and listen briefly. Then I calmly say, “Coach, your team needs you in the locker room.” My thinking was to help out my partner by ending the conversation.

If looks could kill, I’d be dead. Coach locks on to me with a glare and seems to be thinking of a retort he can get by with, but he does begin moving away. As he does so, I hear him mutter under his breath something about “getting homered at home.”

At that precise moment, starting the second half with a T did cross my mind. At the same time, I remembered what so many have said on this forum about using the technical to make the game better. So, I decided to try having the last word instead (I know I should know better...) and said to his now retreating backside, “Coach, that’s enough of that kind of talk.” More muttering; this time unintelligible.

Partner and I talked about putting Coach A on a very short verbal leash for the remainder of the game.

Second half went surprisingly well from an officiating point of view. Coach A had little to say and nothing volatile, so I think the decision not to T him for the “homer” remark was the right one, but I’m still not sure. I do know that a T would have made ME feel as though I had put the coach in his place, as in “I'm not gonna let you get by with that ...”

In the end, I guess I chalked up his comment to a coach looking for someone other than himself or his team (or a superior opponent) to blame for the lopsided score.

Would you have issued a T?

Sven

If he's walking away and only you and he heard the remark let it go. If you go after him you are looked upon as being the agressor. Let him have the last word. Sounds like you got your point across. Good job.

[Back In The Saddle]

I endorse the advice about meeting at center court, etc.

Having said that, I think you handled it pretty well. Nobody but you, he and your partner heard the remark. You warned him and he behaved himself the rest of the game. What's not to love? Good job.

[tjones1]

The T was earned, probably should of given it to him. Also, I think you did good by going over there and getting your partner.

[Texas Aggie]

No, you handled it pretty much perfectly, though I wouldn't have responded at all -- just walked away.

I don't agree with this "insulted your intergrity" business. If that were the standard, we'd have games with only technical foul shots. Never argue with a coach. If he/she asks a question, answer it, then walk away, especially at the half. Any argument is fruitless as you aren't going to convince them or give them a sufficient answer, so why bother? I was confronted at the half literally dozens, perhaps hundreds, of times (perhaps that says somethign bad about me!!). I don't recall a situation where I gave an answer on a complaint that satisfied anyone.

I always figured coaches had the right to free speech, but if it was a rules infraction, it was dealt with. However, don't look for cases to stick a coach or anyone else.

[SMEngmann]

I agree with Aggie the coach muttered something in frustration walking away, he didn't mean for you to hear it, let the thing go. If he says that to your face or yells it out loud, then you got an easy T. I also agree, meet at center circle, and then when the coach approaches you, he's on thin ice and you've got a witness to everything he says/does. You don't want to have rabbit ears as a ref and T a coach for muttering to himself IMO.

[stripes]

Originally posted by SMEngmann
I agree with Aggie the coach muttered something in frustration walking away, he didn't mean for you to hear it, let the thing go. If he says that to your face or yells it out loud, then you got an easy T. I also agree, meet at center circle, and then when the coach approaches you, he's on thin ice and you've got a witness to everything he says/does. You don't want to have rabbit ears as a ref and T a coach for muttering to himself IMO.

I disagree completely. Well, not completely. I like waiting at the center circle and he knows he's coming into your territory (on thin ice). I don't think you have to T the guy for this, but I think you HAVE TO ADDRESS his comment. Absolutely do not ignore it! He may not have wanted you to hear it, but you did. How often does he do things like this when only his team can hear him and he runs down your credibility to them? I want him to think I hear everything and let him know he is on a short verbal leash. We don't always have to T coaches for their actions, but we need to address them and help them understand where bounderies are. Too often we ignore it and the bad behavior continues.

As Barney Fife says, "nip it, nip it!"

[johnnyrao]

Originally posted by Jerry Blum
I have always gone to center court and met my partner there prior to going to the table. Allow players and coaches to retreat to the locker room and once they have gone then go take care of the arrow and books. This makes it difficult for a coach to get cheap shots in like the one you described. I have also had coaches specifically try to wait at the table so that they can get something said to me or my partner and if you wait at center court until they have gone to the locker room you take that possiblity away.

This was a mechanic that I was taught a few years ago that has saved more than its share of coaches from getting T'd up after the half is over.

Our state manual REQUIRES that we go to center court as a group and then wait for the teams to depart the floor. Then we go to the table and verify the book and possession arrow before leaving the floor. The half-time clock countdown start when we begin to leave the floor so if a coach needs a lot of time to talk to the team he should hustle them off the floor because it will give him an extra minute or two to work on game things.