Dave LIVE!!! Right here, right now.

[Mark Padgett]

Yes sports fans, as I type, the infamous Dave is visiting in my office and is looking over my shoulder. I wish he would have taken a Certs first. Ouch - he just smacked me.

Anyway, since he refuses to participate from home, I have persuaded him to add a few words here. I have asked him to relate his favorite "Dave." Take it away, oh wise one.

Thanks, Mark. Actually, you guys can't tell, but I type about half as fast as he does so this is taking some time. He said he would correct my spelling before clicking.

I guess if I had to pick one, it would be the time I called a technical on a kid for profanity. Even though it wasn't directed at me, it was really loud and really bad. It was a JV game and the gym was pretty full. I made a foul call on him and it was his fifth. He yelled the "F" word.

When I reported it to the scorer, his coach asked me what he said. I just told him it was profanity. He kept pushing me to tell him exactly what the kid said. Finally, just to get him off my back, I told him. I said, "He said that word that starts with "F" and ends in "UCK" and it's not "FIRETRUCK".

Believe it or not, he didn't think it was funny. I still do.

OK, my fingers are getting tired, so here's Mark (big freaking deal).

Gee Dave, that was exciting (not). Too bad we don't have a chat room here - or a webcam. Actually, viewers might think Hannibal screened a day early. Ouch, he hit me again. I'm calling my Mom.