Biased abuse... especially ladies or young officials

[mrsbballref]

I had a game last night with a team in our association and an out of state team. I am a well respected official in
our association and I officiate college, so I rarely have any problems out of any coaches in our association. I have gained their respect over the years.

Here's the deal... I'm a female and I'm young (25) and it
seemed like the out of state coach and/or fans were always
on me regardless of how the call went. I was calling with two guys who never received the abuse I did even when a call went against this team.

I guess I had just forgotten how coaches sometimes pick a crew memeber they 'think' they can try to work. Well, needless to say, one technical later, I didn't have this problem the rest of the night.

My crew members thought it was hilarious. They said,
he obviously doesn't know you very well, but I think he understands now.

Anyone else ever have this?

[Huskerblue]

I think you handled it perfectly. My question is, how long did you let the coach rag on you until you whacked him?

[co2ice]

mrs: Last year I reffed with a women offical who has been working longer than myself, the visiting coach in the first few minutes was all over my partner and then insulted her. I T'd him and said "one more word to her the rest of the game and your gone." He sat down and the only thing I heard for the next 30 minutes was a call for a time out. I think some coaches think they can intimidate a female official, but its been my experience that most of the female officials can handle their own and coaches had better beware.

[johnfox]

Worked in a similar situation this past weekend. First time ever at school. boys Varsity, big rivalry! Partner had 28 years of experience, I have 8. In our pre-game I suggested he take care of the coaches, knowing they would give him more respect. You guessed it, in second half he warned 2 opposing players to clean it up. I immediately admiministerd a baseline throw-in. Those same 2 players locked up, so I came in with a strong double foul call! Both coaches go absolutely crazy, and block my wat to report foul. partner instantly became invisible! Let both coaches have their say without ant T's, onlt to T up home team coach later on. I am a male, but your sex should not have anything to do with it! We are a team out there, and the only support we have. When I have a coach get on my partner, I'm the first one there, and expect that in return!Good luck in the rest of your season. DEMAND RESPECT!!!!!!!!!

[Kelly Kinghorn]

Maybe I'm missing something here John, but where was your whistle? Why didn't you whack the coaches that were in your way? Does "your parnter handling the coaches tonight" mean you get a night off? I agree that we must demand respect, but not taking care of your own business and then thinking your partner should protect you won't earn you any respect on the court--especially from the coaches.

IMO, you lost respect from both coaches for not calling 2 T's--one for each of them.

[Indy_Ref]

Originally posted by johnfox
....DEMAND RESPECT!!!!!!!!!

We as officials shouldn't demand respect, rather, we should COMMAND it! There is a difference!

As officials, we initially deserve respect from all players, coaches, and fellow officials. The way we carry ourselves, make our calls, and communicate to everyone will determine if we will automatically COMMAND respect or if we will need to try to DEMAND it later. We do NOT want to be trying to demand it later!

In mrsbballref's situation, her actions were definitely justified. She came upon a coach who thought he'd "test the waters" with this new face. I suspect mrs. made her calls, whacked when appropriate, and by her actions, COMMANDED respect!

Good job!

[Edited by Indy_Ref on Jan 24th, 2001 at 03:59 PM]

[Kelvin green]

I agree with my distinguished colleague (Kelly) that if you have been doing this for 8 years and cant whack them up, they have you now. Respect is earned. Sometimes a senior official can help by telling the coach that it was a good call. but... well anyway

[rainmaker]

Mrs. bball Ref -- (I can't remember your first name!)

I had a kind of funny situation of this kind a few weeks ago. It was a rec game -- 5th grade girls or something -- and my partner was brand new, literally. He was only 20 and this was his first game ever. He made a lot of mistakes, of course, but didn't look all that bad, but never called a foul and only one violation, but who took the heat!?!?! My gosh, you'd have thought I was the worst ref ever, which I'm not even if I'm not that great. But this guy was very handsome and athletic looking and the girls adored (!) him, and I am just a middle-aged housewife with a baby belly. I do think if I'd been male, it would have been different. The one coach was female, and even she was yelling at me, and not him. When I got home, I felt a little frustrated.


juulie