I might as well not have been there...

[Luv4Asian8]

what do you do when your "partner" takes over the floor and kicks ya outta your mental game?

Situation: had 3 games yesterday. partner didn't show up for the first game, so i ran with the director of the league. comfortable, great teamwork, great game - fun. then for games 2 and 3, original partner shows up ("veteran"). he took over, called everything, all the way down to tickytacky in my area (some where there wasn't ANY contact or violation). then crowd gets on me for not calling anything, prolly so since i fell asleep as soon as he got on the floor. then, he tells me that even though it's a spring league to work on my mechs. how can i?! of course i can't call anything if he takes em all. so i just wanted to get the games over with. definitely wasn't a fun day.

im definitely up for constructive criticism, but just got rubbed the wrong way with this one, though i know that there will be some more in my future.

sorry everyone, just needed to vent. but is there any advice in there to keep from getting into the mental slumber that i was in yesterday?

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by Luv4Asian8
what do you do when your "partner" takes over the floor and kicks ya outta your mental game?

Situation: had 3 games yesterday. partner didn't show up for the first game, so i ran with the director of the league. comfortable, great teamwork, great game - fun. then for games 2 and 3, original partner shows up ("veteran"). he took over, called everything, all the way down to tickytacky in my area (some where there wasn't ANY contact or violation). then crowd gets on me for not calling anything, prolly so since i fell asleep as soon as he got on the floor. then, he tells me that even though it's a spring league to work on my mechs. how can i?! of course i can't call anything if he takes em all. so i just wanted to get the games over with. definitely wasn't a fun day.

im definitely up for constructive criticism, but just got rubbed the wrong way with this one, though i know that there will be some more in my future.

sorry everyone, just needed to vent. but is there any advice in there to keep from getting into the mental slumber that i was in yesterday?

The best overall advice in situations like this from mick:

Get in
Get done
Get out

If early on you want to try to salvage something constructive from the game, focus on something he can't control such as maintaining a good position. Think about how to always stay in a position to see between the pair of players. How to anticipate contact and be in the right place to judge it. How to shift on the floor when players are in these spots, or that set up. Or choose to concentrate on your visible counts. Is your hand straight, are your motions crisp, is the timing accurate? There's always something you can work on without him.

Also, it sounds as though you did this part okay, but remember that there's no point arguing with folks like this. Probably best to handle it as you did. Then go home and hunt around for someone else who's worked with him and didn't enjoy it. You can cry on each other's shoulder for a few minutes.

[revref]

Ditto with rainmaker and one more thought:

then crowd gets on me for not calling anything

Since when should you care about that? The only bad thing is you let him get to you. Go home and say to yourself--

"Today I got a lesson in people skills - I worked with someone who ain't got any!"

I'm sure you'll over come!

[TravelinMan]

Don't take it to heart. It's gonna happen sometimes. In that situation, I usually talk to my partner at halftime on the importance of trusting each other and concentrating on our primary areas. If he isn't receptive, just drop it and move on.

[blindzebra]

I'd have said, "Since you no-showed for game one,are you trying to make up for what you missed?"

Seriously, sometimes it happens. I do a lot of rec and youth ball with, let's say, less than quality officials. The type that blows OOB on every line, marks every three point attempt, and somehow can see that travel or foul, across the court, 50 feet away that "occurs" right in front of you.

I watch off ball at all times, even when the ball is in my primary. I'll let them get the obvious calls, but I'll get the good calls off ball.

Since your partner said to work on your mechanics, that would have been a good time to remind them that if they really want to help you get better then they need to trust you to call your area.

[Indy_Ref]

Originally posted by Luv4Asian8
...Then, he tells me that even though it's a spring league to work on my mechs.

With a smile say, "Thank you! I will do that. I'm always trying to work on getting better at those. By the way, you might review primary vs. secondary coverages since that seems to be a fuzzy area for you. Good luck!"

[footlocker]

just tell him since he called the first half, you'll take the second.

[Rich]

Originally posted by Luv4Asian8
what do you do when your "partner" takes over the floor and kicks ya outta your mental game?

Situation: had 3 games yesterday. partner didn't show up for the first game, so i ran with the director of the league. comfortable, great teamwork, great game - fun. then for games 2 and 3, original partner shows up ("veteran"). he took over, called everything, all the way down to tickytacky in my area (some where there wasn't ANY contact or violation). then crowd gets on me for not calling anything, prolly so since i fell asleep as soon as he got on the floor. then, he tells me that even though it's a spring league to work on my mechs. how can i?! of course i can't call anything if he takes em all. so i just wanted to get the games over with. definitely wasn't a fun day.

im definitely up for constructive criticism, but just got rubbed the wrong way with this one, though i know that there will be some more in my future.

sorry everyone, just needed to vent. but is there any advice in there to keep from getting into the mental slumber that i was in yesterday?

This is tough. I had a similar thing happen to me earlier this season. "Veteran" rec official (1 year of experience 20 times over) called every line, put up his hand on ever three attempted, called fouls all over the court.

Even tried dressing me down in front of everybody when I went to switch as he called a shooting foul (he liked to yell the number to the table and not move). Called me a "rookie" even though my first HS game was in 1987. Finally, I had to reply to him in the same manner -- "Hey if you want to be lazy and not do things the right way, it's up to you."

Didn't talk to him the last 2 games.

Got my point across. Got done. Got out. Told the assignor that I would NEVER work with him again.

In retrospect I shouldn't have stooped to his level, but I wasn't going to stand there and be dressed down in front of teenage players and coaches when I wasn't the untrained one on the floor.

Forget it and move on. Try to avoid working with this person in the future.

--Rich

[cford]

I had a similar situation a couple of weeks ago except that my partner wasn't calling anything! There were at least 5 OUT OF CONTROL & obvious fouls in the first half! There were two girls hurt throughout the course of the night. We were written up and there were at least three calls to the assigner.

I had talked to him at one point and suggested we should tighten up on the fouls. He chuckled and said "I was thinking that we need to loosen up" and that "we need to let them play". I can't tell you how much that drove me crazy. It was near the end of the half and there were only a total of 7 fouls combined and I had called all but one.

As soon as it was over I got out of there faster than the Flash. He did say right before I left that he felt partially responsible. I was trying all night to figure out what to tell the assigner. I decided to say nothing because the next two nights went perfect. I had the director at the high school (who used to be an official) call the assigner and he gave us rave reviews.

So I guess my advice is to put that night behind you and do your best the next time. It sure makes you appreciate working with quality officials, I know that I do!

[Chin Ref]

The one I had was: Foul in the key, both of us fist-up. I was the lead. He signalled to invite me to take the call, I smiled, accepted the invitation & went up to the table calling foul on Red 14, 2-shots. You cant imagine what happened- he came up from behind telling the table & everyone No, offensive foul on Blue 9. I dont remember what my feeling was but you know I was just all blank in the rest of the game. Of course, I told my association that I will never work with him again.

[cford]

Originally posted by Chin Ref
I dont remember what my feeling was but you know I was just all blank in the rest of the game.

Your feelings were probably along the lines of "Stupid Mother Dexter, Stupid Mother Dexter, Stupid Mother Dexter"

[Mark Dexter]

Originally posted by cford

Your feelings were probably along the lines of "Stupid Mother Dexter, Stupid Mother Dexter, Stupid Mother Dexter"

Jeez! Even the newbies around here are picking up!

[footlocker]

Originally posted by cford
There were at least 5 OUT OF CONTROL & obvious fouls in the first half! There were two girls hurt throughout the course of the night. We were written up and there were at least three calls to the assigner.\

My advise. Call the obvious, even if you have to go and get it. No doubt, it takes at least one partner to call a game well. However, you were by yourself. Recognize that and call what has to be called. Let the ones in his area go that aren't "OUT OF CONTROL & obvious fouls."

I find this easier to work with than the guy that wants to call everything or change your call mid-report.

[cford]

Originally posted by footlocker

My advise. Call the obvious, even if you have to go and get it. No doubt, it takes at least one partner to call a game well. However, you were by yourself. Recognize that and call what has to be called. Let the ones in his area go that aren't "OUT OF CONTROL & obvious fouls."

I find this easier to work with than the guy that wants to call everything or change your call mid-report. [/B]

I agree, in fact I did call a couple that were in his area and he gave me the look and then talked to me about trusting your partner (which I couldn't believe he said). This is why I decided to only watch my area for the rest of the game and suffer the consequences. The rest of the game was caos. At the start of the next game I gathered myself and decided to watch everything and call all the obvious even if it was in his area. It definitely went alot smoother

It was a big learning experience for me and I'm sure everyone experiences something similar at some point. I learned to keep my thoughts on the game no matter how frustrated I am with my partner or anything else going on outside of the game because I missed a couple of violations due to the fact my mind was not in the game.

Originally posted by Mark Dexter

Jeez! Even the newbies around here are picking up!

It's your world (or forum) and I'm just living (posting) in it [i]