Dealing w/ Know-It-All Partner

[Luv4Asian8]

[[TOPIC]]

I know that this may have been posted in the past, but now that I have actually had to deal with it for the first time, I can actually pay attention, since it is now applicable to me.

The Situation: I (rookie, understanding that I'm the less exp official, and the "R" [which doesnt matter]) had been assigned a Girls JV with a much more exp college official ("know-it-all" ahem, sorry...and "U"). She arrives just 10 mins before gametime, which made me have to rush my pregame, a pregame that I used with many other officials with no prob: coverage, double-Ws, things I would like to work on personally, etc. She ridicules me "that's not how to do a pregame!" So I ask her how to do one. She comes back "havent you attended the meetings?!" "Yes, I have (underneath: where have you been?!)" And this goes on throughout the game: timeouts, deadballs, intermissions, etc. Definitely not a good way to "be on same page" or have "chemistry" with partner.

One foul (very obvious, never would be a 'no-call') was in her territory as T, and I, as L, held for a sec or two to see if she'd call it. Since we did have to maintain control over a sloppy game (blow out), I called it. During our 'post-game' she says that I was really late on that call. There was even an instance during a timeout where she came to me and said, "i'll just work on my college game, you just work on your HS game." This really started getting me heated up inside.

But overall, I think THE GAME went well, in the 'officiating' sense, even though the players was getting a lil sloppy because of the blowout situation.

Most of you know me already through my threads; I am very open-minded, very willing to take constructive criticisms for ANY mistakes I made. I write a self-eval after each game and gather all info (good/bad) from the more exp officials I work with to learn and make myself a better official and person. But this official made it VERY DIFFICULT for me to learn from her. Since I know that arguing officials on the court is EXTREMELY DISGRACEFUL, I kept my cool, even though as mentioned, was boiling inside.

How would have you handled it? What could I have done better? Thanks...

[JRutledge]

The only issue I might have with you was the call in front of her. You admitted that this was in her territory, let her make that call. I realize you might think it was obvious, but if she is a veteran, let her live and die with it. Becasue she probably saw the whole play and you did not. She did seem to have a point about the call being late. And if you are watching that, whatelse is going on in your area?

I agree that she did not start off on a good foot with you. I agree that what she said about college ball and high school ball really was not a good thing. I also realize that her attitude was not right on either. But until you get to be more of a veteran officials, this will happen. Because they are not going to show you the same respect that many deserve. Just a nature of the beast if you will. Some veterans try to "big-time" officials that have less experience than they do. This appears to be that kind of situation.

Chalk it up to experience and move on. There just is not magic formula to deal with these kind of situations.

Peace

[SteveF]

Been there, done that. I have been in a situation where an official who I was working with had a little more experience than me (had worked some junior college games). Needless to say this gentleman thought he had arrived. I started reffing right out of highschool so my experience level and age really do not match, atleast in my area of the country. He was constantly coming in and overturning my calls. I feel that my calls were correct and have no idea where or how he could have made some of the calls he was that were in my area. Since then I prefer not to work any games with him. I have been offered some college games and consider that a priviledge I am not quite ready for and turned them down. I have improved drastically over the years and see much more room for improvement. Ever since working with that gentleman I have made it my goal to never treat anyone the same way. It is hard to try and find tactful, possitive ways to point out mistakes to less experienced officials. Knowing that we all have something we could do better.

[Forksref]

SteveF is correct.

I'd inform the scheduler as to my preference not to work with her. There are lots of experienced officials who like to help newer ones.

It could be a gender issue. I started doing volleyball a long time ago and one coach always seemed to be pissed when I showed up. I think she was mad that men were doing a girls sport. That's her loss. I think it is better now.

[rainmaker]

What you need to recognize, Luv4Asian8, is that she's fighting her own little demons, and you aren't part of the picture for her. She's not trying to help you, she's working on her college game. In the process, she's doing you and the players a disservice, and I think it would make sense for you to tell your assignor you don't want to work with her any more. If the assignor asks why, you could just say, "I had trouble working with the college mechanics" or something else short but to the point. Once she showed up with only 10 minutes to tip-off, you could probably have decided to just minimize discussion, and avoided any conversation that wasn't really important. Sounds like you called as good a game as you could, and you just have to write off the junk, the way you would if a coach was inappropriately critical. Also, keep your ears open for her name. You may find you're not the only one who doesn't like working with her.

[PS2Man]

I agree with rainmaker. You should not really elaborate about why you do not want to work with her. Just keep it to the point. But also be careful not to make a habit of this as well. You do not want to be seen as a high maintanence official. Some assignors will cross you off instead of officials like this.

[Luv4Asian8]

First, I would like to thank all of you who replied and are helping me out.

Secondly, would just like to address some questions and comments you had.

Originally posted by JRutledge
I realize you might think it was obvious, but if she is a veteran, let her live and die with it. Becasue she probably saw the whole play and you did not. She did seem to have a point about the call being late. And if you are watching that, whatelse is going on in your area?

Yes, JR. I did stretch my territory a bit. But to answer your question, there wasn't much going on in my area at that time. There were only 2 players about 3-5 ft apart, definitely not a competitive matchup. Glancing at the other 6 players in her territory, also no competitive matchups. Then, there was [kinda] collision (still, IMO not a 'no-call) in her area where my "delayed" whistle came in.

But you are right, I'll leave it up to the other official next time. I should have stayed in my area.

Originally posted by SteveF
Ever since working with that gentleman I have made it my goal to never treat anyone the same way. It is hard to try and find tactful, possitive ways to point out mistakes to less experienced officials. Knowing that we all have something we could do better.

Agreed! Same here, my background has been a lot about "reverse" role-models, doing the exact opposite of what they do. Weird that way, i guess

Originally posted by Forksref
I'd inform the scheduler as to my preference not to work with her. There are lots of experienced officials who like to help newer ones.

Originally posted by rainmaker
She's not trying to help you, she's working on her college game. In the process, she's doing you and the players a disservice, and I think it would make sense for you to tell your assignor you don't want to work with her any more. If the assignor asks why, you could just say, "I had trouble working with the college mechanics" or something else short but to the point.

Originally posted by PS2Man
I agree with rainmaker. You should not really elaborate about why you do not want to work with her. Just keep it to the point. But also be careful not to make a habit of this as well. You do not want to be seen as a high maintanence official. Some assignors will cross you off instead of officials like this.

Yes, I have done this. We are required to evaluate our partners for our association after each game. While I gave her somewhat high marks for her officiating, I respectfully put her on my restricted list. She's the only one I've ever restricted. I don't like it, personally, because I think that there really is something to learn from working with her again. But for the benefit of the kids, I think it's best if she didn't kick me out of my mental game again.

Again, thank you all for helping me out!!!!

[Kevzebra]

I think you did have a role model in that game. One that teaches one what NOT to do. I also still officiate a little HS ball along with everything up and down the ladder.
I hope I never haev come across like this in a game to anyone.

In response as to what to say when someone tries to come in and overturn your call, I have used a technique that seems to work quite well. I go to my partner and ask a question. Say he/she blew an OD call to the wrong team. IF I am 100% sure (99% not good enough) I go and I say "were you passing on a foul? (slight contact only). They say yes I run back up court and we move on. (Now if he/she just stands there and blows and point and overturns it, we have a "discussion" later about the play. Right then is not the time. Just smile, toot and point). Coach asks me why I did not overturn the play, I respond accordingly "Coach would you have rather I called a foul on your best player (his 5th maybe) on slight contact or just give them the ball?"

Works on some, some it does not, so you also have to know your coaches pretty well, but as you move up, you'll know when to use it and when not to.