Paternity leave

[Matt S.]

Question for you dads out there: how much time did you take off from bball after your wife gave birth?

We are expecting our first child in late Jan/early Feb, and while I don't want to kick back/block all of February, that may just be reality...and I'll certainly live!

But I wanted to crowd-source first and see what experiences you all might be able to share in this department. Thanks in advance.

[JRutledge]

I think you have to work that out with your wife. Not sure there is a real answer to that. Some people work the very next day. So you have to deal with the realities of your wife and her position on this mainly. Heck do not put your faith in what we say when we are not the ones that will be sleeping on the couch.

Peace

[grunewar]

Well said JRut.

Each personal and financial situation is different, and while some may be able to tell or advise you on what they did or how they would approach it, one size does not fit all.

Hoops is hoops and family is family. You can always get another game, but.....

PS - Congratulations to you and your wife!

[Altor]

My mother likes to tell how my sister was born at 3AM and my father was at a contest by 9AM. I don't suggest you do that unless you want to hear about it for the next 40 years.

Oh. And buy her flowers too.

[jTheUmp]

Talk to your wife as soon as possible, get a sense of what she's thinking at this point. Communicate that to you assigner.

Have the conversation again in a month or so. Communicate the results of that conversation to your assigner.

Repeat at regular intervals between now and January.

I lucked out in that my son was born over the summer, so all I did immediately was dropped summer youth baseball from my schedule... no real loss there. But, had it been during the football/basketball season... I would've taken at least the first two weeks off, because I would've been too tired to effectively work a game, if nothing else.

In time since my son's birth, we've basically settled on a 'two games a week' schedule. Which means Friday / Saturday during football season (with the understanding that Sunday is "Mrs. jTheUmp does whatever she wants" day). Basketball season is usually Tuesday/Friday, and baseball season is usually Monday/Wednesday (typically the busiest days of the week for my assigner)..

Oh, and your child's birthday is going to be a blocked date on your officiating calendar for the next 18 years.

[SE Minnestoa Re]

I did a football game the afternoon my daughter was born. (27 years ago) Celebrated with my crew mates after the game and then went back to the hospital.

I think my wife was glad I was gone for a few hours so she could get some rest.

[jpgc99]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I think you have to work that out with your wife. Not sure there is a real answer to that. Some people work the very next day. So you have to deal with the realities of your wife and her position on this mainly. Heck do not put your faith in what we say when we are not the ones that will be sleeping on the couch.

Peace

Well said, but don't expect to be sleeping on the couch. You won't be sleeping at all once the baby is born.

To answer your question: Rut is exactly right. There is no correct answer and you need to figure it out in partnership with your wife.

You also want to make sure you have clear communication with your assignor and find out how they want you to handle it. When my first was born, I had a discussion with my assignor and asked if I should block the entire month to protect against possible turnbacks when my wife goes into labor. He said he was okay assigning me games and I could turn back any that I needed to, but it's an important conversation to have.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Matt S.

Question for you dads out there: how much time did you take off from bball after your wife gave birth?

We are expecting our first child in late Jan/early Feb, and while I don't want to kick back/block all of February, that may just be reality...and I'll certainly live!

But I wanted to crowd-source first and see what experiences you all might be able to share in this department. Thanks in advance.

I was never in this boat as I didn't start officiating until I was 37 and my youngest was born 3 years prior to that...plus I started officiating for extra income after that marriage broke up.

But as been stated, there are 2 people you need to discuss this with. First and foremost, your wife. Find out exactly what her expectations are, and work out any differences. After that conversation, then have the conversation with your assignor(s).

[Rich]

My wife went into the hospital on a Friday afternoon. She insisted I go work my game.

Kid was born Sunday night. I worked my scheduled game on Tuesday.

I took two weeks off from the day job, though.

[Camron Rust]

Originally Posted by Rich

My wife went into the hospital on a Friday afternoon. She insisted I go work my game.

Kid was born Sunday night. I worked my scheduled game on Tuesday.

I took two weeks off from the day job, though.

Oh, your poor wife....Friday to Sunday. That explains why she didn't want to see you around at first!

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by Rich

I took two weeks off from the day job, though.

The CIA lets you take time off?!?!

[Terrapins Fan]

My wife is completely understanding, our son was born in February and I took 0 days off.

[Rich]

Her BP was up. Took 2 days to induce.

I posted all about this on the Forum.

The Forum's been around so long, kid's gonna be 12.

[Amesman]

Man, great kernels of advice all around here. Consult with the wife, consult with your assignor(s). Your mileage may always vary from what anybody else has experienced because of the personalities involved.

But make no mistake: Tend to the home fires first and foremost. And if your wife says to go officiate, make her repeat it. If it's right after birth (or she's at the hospital already and knows there will be a delay), her "Get out of here for a while" plea could be pretty solid.

But if she says a month or two out, "Oh, you can keep reffing and start back right after ..." take it with a grain of salt. Women have been known to change their minds, you know. Pregnant women, to the nth degree.

[Sharpshooternes]

I always try and have my babies the first week of March. That way I can watch every game of the tournament. "I'll watch the baby honey. You go take a nap." 2 offour kids born right brfore the tourney. Awesome!!!