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Paternity leave
Question for you dads out there: how much time did you take off from bball after your wife gave birth?
We are expecting our first child in late Jan/early Feb, and while I don't want to kick back/block all of February, that may just be reality...and I'll certainly live! But I wanted to crowd-source first and see what experiences you all might be able to share in this department. Thanks in advance. |
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I think you have to work that out with your wife. Not sure there is a real answer to that. Some people work the very next day. So you have to deal with the realities of your wife and her position on this mainly. Heck do not put your faith in what we say when we are not the ones that will be sleeping on the couch.
Peace
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Let us get into "Good Trouble." ----------------------------------------------------------- Charles Michael “Mick” Chambers (1947-2010) |
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Well said JRut.
Each personal and financial situation is different, and while some may be able to tell or advise you on what they did or how they would approach it, one size does not fit all. Hoops is hoops and family is family. You can always get another game, but..... PS - Congratulations to you and your wife!
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There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. |
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Quote:
To answer your question: Rut is exactly right. There is no correct answer and you need to figure it out in partnership with your wife. You also want to make sure you have clear communication with your assignor and find out how they want you to handle it. When my first was born, I had a discussion with my assignor and asked if I should block the entire month to protect against possible turnbacks when my wife goes into labor. He said he was okay assigning me games and I could turn back any that I needed to, but it's an important conversation to have. |
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But as been stated, there are 2 people you need to discuss this with. First and foremost, your wife. Find out exactly what her expectations are, and work out any differences. After that conversation, then have the conversation with your assignor(s).
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A-hole formerly known as BNR |
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Talk to your wife as soon as possible, get a sense of what she's thinking at this point. Communicate that to you assigner.
Have the conversation again in a month or so. Communicate the results of that conversation to your assigner. Repeat at regular intervals between now and January. I lucked out in that my son was born over the summer, so all I did immediately was dropped summer youth baseball from my schedule... no real loss there. But, had it been during the football/basketball season... I would've taken at least the first two weeks off, because I would've been too tired to effectively work a game, if nothing else. In time since my son's birth, we've basically settled on a 'two games a week' schedule. Which means Friday / Saturday during football season (with the understanding that Sunday is "Mrs. jTheUmp does whatever she wants" day). Basketball season is usually Tuesday/Friday, and baseball season is usually Monday/Wednesday (typically the busiest days of the week for my assigner).. Oh, and your child's birthday is going to be a blocked date on your officiating calendar for the next 18 years. |
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I did a football game the afternoon my daughter was born. (27 years ago) Celebrated with my crew mates after the game and then went back to the hospital.
I think my wife was glad I was gone for a few hours so she could get some rest. |
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I didn't have this problem. Junior was born at the end of the H.S./college basketball regular season and Andy was born at the end of H.S. baseball/fastpitch softball regular season.
MTD, Sr.
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Mark T. DeNucci, Sr. Trumbull Co. (Warren, Ohio) Bkb. Off. Assn. Wood Co. (Bowling Green, Ohio) Bkb. Off. Assn. Ohio Assn. of Basketball Officials International Assn. of Approved Bkb. Officials Ohio High School Athletic Association Toledo, Ohio |
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Congratulations!
I didn't start reffing until my kids were older, although I was playing a lot of sports at the time mine were born.
I think it is definitely something you should discuss with your wife. It also depends on who else will be in the house when you are reffing and how long you will be gone. If it is just your wife and baby, then you will probably be missed. If someone else (such as her mother) is also staying with you, then you probably won't be missed as much. I used to play in a men's rec basketball league and a teammate played the night of child #5's birth and his wife didn't seem to mind. I was considering playing rec softball the day after my oldest child was born, but decided not to when my best friend (other than her) said he would stop by the hospital for a visit. I'm still hearing about it and I didn't even play. If you do ref, I think you should take the approach that it is a fun break from your 9-to-5 and parenting duties rather than a 2nd job which you will then need a break from. On a related note, my other advice is to start saving plastic bags now to put the diapers in. Congratulations! |
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When my first was born in January, I took about two weeks off. Then my wife basically forced me to go work some games. It helps also that we support each other in our own pursuits like officiating for me.
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Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. - Will Rogers |
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Oh, your poor wife....Friday to Sunday. That explains why she didn't want to see you around at first!
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Owner/Developer of RefTown.com Commissioner, Portland Basketball Officials Association |
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