Nah, you handled it well when you finally decided to give him a T. Just found it funny how you worded it. I prefer how quickly you did it instead of waiting for a partner to wack him when it's right next to you.

Yeah, I realize now that I should have done it sooner and let the partner handle the seatbelt part. That's why I'm here, I appreciate the advice.

I've had a lot of good things happen by simply having a pleasant man to man conversation with the coach early in the game saying something along the lines of "I will listen to anything you have to say coach as long as you do it in the right way and at the right time". It makes coaches feel like you care what they have to say and that you respect them. I have dealt with very little "crap" from coaches and I think it's because of how I handle it. I think my reputation is that I will listen and work with you as long as you respect me and the rules.

Oh, do tell.

By good things, I mean I've never had to whack a coach and I've never really had any trouble with any coach. I let them vent a little when it's appropriate and we move on. They know how I operate and they have been good to me. I think it's because of how I have handled them from the start.

"I've never had to whack a coach"

Sound the alarm bells.

What?

I think what everyone is saying, SD, is that if you have never whacked a coach, you: A.) likely haven't done too many games, or B.) are far too permissive in what behavior you allow to continue. Could be both, but it's definitely not neither.

I'm happy you feel your approach is working for you so far. I can only hope your assignors agree. Remember, you WILL be giving technicals to coaches as long as you continue in this avocation, regardless of how you approach them or how much "respect" or "rapport" you feel has been built up.

And if you're a year or two in, and still haven't given any, your schedule (or lack thereof) might reflect that.

Been officiating for 10 years and I am a state tourney official. I do about 50 to 60 nights per year on the high school level. I would say that I have done my fair share of games, have plenty of experience, and that the athletic directors like me since they continue to give me as many games as I can handle. We don't have assignors here. The individual schools handle it.

I do have a pretty thick skin, but I honestly believe my approach works.

I have no doubt that someday I will have to give a coach a "T", but so far not one. Now kids are another story..........

Does your state exist?

I know of an official in our association who's never given a coach a T. I cringe every time we're assigned together because the game is going to last 20-30 minutes longer than it needs to. :(

I see where you are going with that and that's not me. My games are no longer than anybody else's. I just get along with all of the refs and I let them plead their cases when the time is right and the game isn't interrupted. Sounds like most of you guys can't say the same?

I wouldn't say I'm confrontational, and I think I allow (what sounds like) a longer leash than most. I will not put up with disrespect, constant whining, or coaches trying to bully me. I'll let them vent a few times a game, but they need to know where I draw my line and if they can't figure it out after I tell them once, the other team is shooting 2.

That may explain why you haven't T'd any coaches. ;)

When coaches are pleading their case is not when I've whacked them. Most coaches pleading their case are not being disrespectful, just whiny.

I'm sure I've T'd less than 1 coach per season on average.

I feel the same way and that's exactly how I have handled it for 10 years. I just haven't gotten to the "other team shooting 2" part yet. It hasn't been needed.