This happened couple years ago just prior to start of LL seniors baseball game (I was PU).
Coach: (His home crowd can hear him) "Hey Blue, do you have any balls?"
Me: I smiled and responded "Yes coach, I have been told I do."
Coach: Paused, smiled and said "I mean game balls."
Me: "Yes, what did you think I was referencing?"
Coach: Smiled, shook his head and walked away.
Game went smooth.

Are you bored because it's raining or because you are in Cleveland?:)

What's the difference? :D

Best one I've heard in a while was coach arguing balls and strikes. "You cannot have a zone that goes from here (swipes hand across his letters) to here (chops his knee caps)" When he was making his exit he asked me had I ever heard of a rule book and his own son asked him "if he had?" I nearly peed my pants.

Steve - yes, both.

Turned it Around
 

While doing a 3 game college series, The coach of home team usually has his ---hole tighten up in the 8th and 9th innings. Game 1, 9th inning, he is jumping up and down on every pitch. I issue a warning. I have the plate in game 3, so after the plate mtg, I watch a few pitches, then I walk over to his dugout and stand in front of him facing the field. After about 30 seconds he says, " What are you doing, are you ready to start?" I turned to him and said, "I thought I would call the balls and strikes from here today, since apparently you get a better angle from here." He puts his head down , while I head to the plate. His players were in hysterics. Nobody but the umpires and the home team had any idea what was going on. He had a quite different attitude from then on.

You've got to be kidding. That's pretty professional.

Has nothing to do with being professional it has to do with having a re poor with a coach. Most coaches after they sit and think about it knew that they went to far. By an umpire doing this I think that it lets the coach know that no hard feelings it's in the past and we can joke about it. There have been mean times that I have been PO about a parent sitting up one of the base lines making comments about balls and strikes but then the next time I see them it done and over with.

re poor

mean time

Wow. This passage you quoted, Garth, sets a new low for literacy on this board.

That post is funnier than any coaching antics could be.

I am going to re poor my drink and set my clock to Greenwich Mean Time.

Not said by a coach, but a player. After ringing him up on strikes, he takes a couple steps toward the bench, points at home plate with the bat and says "the plate is over there, blue". I point toward his dugout and reply "yea, and the bench is over there". His own teammates were rolling.

I sure could use a ham Greenwich with cheese right about now.

Hehehehehe ......
 

Welcome back dumdrum, how's the softball working out ?

"Hey, Blue - I found your cell phone...I know it's yours because it has three missed calls on it!"


or


Pitch comes in, I call it a ball. Catcher doesn't like it, yells at pitcher, "Keep it coming, I thought that one looked pretty good." Batter looks at catcher and says, "I'd hate to see your girlfriend if you thought THAT looked pretty good!"

:)