Worst Coach Tirade Ever?

[lawump]

Originally Posted by BlueLawyer

Any one of these 5, taken separately, was worth dumping him. So, in essence, he gets dumped 5 times, plus an extra two. I'd say 10 games, at least, without pay, plus the fine.

It's subjective, I know. Sometimes it makes no rhyme or reason. Stackhouse gets called for an ordinary foul on Shaq. He's suspended. This idiot makes a mockery of the game and he sits for a week.

Strikes and outs!

Oh, none of you have had the pleasure of calling Mr. Moss (SAL President for life) after a non-routine ejection have you?

For if you have, then you would be SHOCKED that he got 7 days and $1,000. I'm thinking it was only that long and that high because of the black eye the league took in the media.

Here's a sample of my dealings with Mr. Moss.

(Facts: I called the lead-off hitter for visiting Asheville out on strikes (3 pitches, 3 called strikes) to start the game. I called him out on strikes to end the third inning with runners on base (3 pitches, 3 called strikes). He took 5 fastballs and a breaking ball...and none were close to being a "ball".

He goes into the dugout, starts yelling, tosses his helmet onto the field...at which point I dump him. He comes running out of the dugout, bumps me, has to be restrained by his teammates, goes and throws a gatorade cooler onto the field and then leaves.

Because this is "non-routine" (bumping) I just can't write the report...I have to call the league President.

Here is a paraphrase of my conversation with Mr. Moss.

Me: "Mr. Moss, I'm calling to report a non-routine incident on the field today in Charleston (home team)."

Mr. Moss (in a thick southern drawl): "Yes, I've already heard about it."

Me: "Good sir. Then you know I was bumped today."

Mr. Moss: "Son, what in the hell are you doing to my league?"

Me: "Excuse me sir?"

Mr. Moss: "Was the player in the dugout when you ejected him?"

Me: "Well, yes sir. He tossed his helmet onto the field from the dugout."

Mr. Moss: "But he was in the dugout?"

Me: "Yes sir."

Mr. Moss: "We don't need to go looking for troubles in the dugout. I don't want you tossing people from the dugout."

Me: "Yes sir. Good-bye sir."

[hangs up phone]

Me (to partner in the room): "Its going to be a long season."

[BlueLawyer]

Originally Posted by lawump

Me: "Well, yes sir. He tossed his helmet onto the field from the dugout."

Mr. Moss: "But he was in the dugout?"

Me: "Yes sir."

Mr. Moss: "We don't need to go looking for troubles in the dugout. I don't want you tossing people from the dugout."

Come, on, counselor. Are you telling me that story with a straight face? The jackass throws stuff OUT OF THE DUGOUT and on to the field and your LP tells you you are looking for trouble?

I believe you, by the way. And frankly, it illuminates the whole sad situation.

Strikes and outs!

[FitUmp]

Originally Posted by lawump

Oh, none of you have had the pleasure of calling Mr. Moss (SAL President for life) after a non-routine ejection have you?

Sure have.

Originally Posted by lawump

For if you have, then you would be SHOCKED that he got 7 days and $1,000.

Sure are.

(snipped remainder)

The man is addled in the head.