Quote:
Originally Posted by BadNewsRef
You had no business bringing it up. "Out of control" is fan-speak, so that was definitely a phrase that should not have been part of any conversation with a coach.
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Yup. I was thinking the same thing and BNR beat me to it by 30 minutes. As BillyMac often points out, there are some things that officials would be better off not saying in a game. "Out of control," "Over the back," "On the floor," etc.
Dealing with coaches is an art that comes slowly. A lot of it has to do with the confidence you have in your own calls and an ability to articulate that quickly and efficiently. You also have to kind of have a sense when a coach might have a question and perhaps position yourself a little closer to him/her so they can ask it. And while it's taboo to make or answer comments, there are those intangible moments when it might be appropriate to do just that. No way to teach this. It just comes with experience.
One thing I've also noticed is that the older I get and look, the less hostile coaches tend to be, even when I'm the new guy in an area who they don't know from Adam. False perceptions of immaturity may not be fair, but they are subconscious prejudices that can't be avoided. So if you look young....well that just sucks and you might have to resort to your teapot a little more often.
Lastly in this monologue that I didn't intend to be a monologue, know when to apologize or admit you may have made a mistake. It's amazing how quickly that gets most coach's respect. Last week I was working a youth game and Coach B had six players and it was a physical game. B1 gets his fifth foul midway through the fourth quarter, and it was no surprise to the crew or Team A that "five" had just been arrived at. Team A claps at the occasion (rude, but not T worthy), and in an attempt to appear relaxed and de-escalatory, as I turn to report I say, "Yup, they knew it." Needless to say Coach B was offended, and I realized immediately that I had spoken before thinking about how that would sound. Very next dead ball I was by his bench and I just looked him in the eye and said, "I should not have said that; it was disrespectful and I apologize." Not my finest moment at first but the recovery was nice. Took the coach down a whole level of angst and the rest of the game went smoothly.
Bottom line: Dealing with coaches is a learned skill that takes a LOT of reps to get good at.