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My general rule tends to be:
If you can make a rational logical argument/disagreement as loudly or empassioned as you want.
Safe
If there is a demeaning or insulting comment made about me or my partner it doesn't matter how many people hear it. Whammy.
You can be visibily upset and react to a call so long as its your personal momentary reaction not targeted at me or to the other team/crowd. Safe
If you react and it becomes protracted or is clearly targeted to get reaction. WHammy
We can disagree on the way the game is being called because we can disagree on the way the game is being coached. We don't have to change you don't have to change but we will keep blowing the whistle the same way. Safe
We disagree and you continue to harp on it or start instructing your kids in a way that makes public mock or criticism of officials. Whammy.
In a nut shell I'm ok with loud competitive coaches that are firey but can remain clear headed when they communicate to me or about us. I don't care what your demeanour is if you can't articulate yourself without whinning, criticizing or being accusatory we're not getting along.
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Coach: Hey ref I'll make sure you can get out of here right after the game!
Me: Thanks, but why the big rush.
Coach: Oh I thought you must have a big date . . .we're not the only ones your planning on F$%&ing tonite are we!
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