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The wording of the rule states: a "potential blocker", not an actual blocker, not trying to be a blocker, but a "potential blocker." (I wish I had a rule book here)
When does the receiver stop being a potential blocker? When he is head and shoulders even or past the defender.
As long as the contact is not a personal foul or pass interference, and there is not restriction/holding, then for the defender to engage a potential blocker is legal. Once the receiver avoids and evades the defender and gets even with him or beyond him, then it is illegal use of the hands for the defender to initiate contact.
Otherwise...you are going to have to move to the NFL's 5 yard "chuck" zone.
(BTW: I thoroughly admonished the BJ for not bringing his voice to the on-field conference, and the next week we had a healthy discussion in pre-game about communicating potentially useful information on the field.)
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