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I was taught in this neck of the woods to call it when we get to three. Of course, we were also taught to count...1..................................2...... ...........2 1/3..............................2 2/3...
Seriously, we were told if the player wants to basically take himself/herself out of the offense not to be quick with the violation at first. Now, if the suddenly get an easy bucket or rebound after being cautioned stick them with the violation at the next opportunity. Maybe I have just been lucky but I usually just reminding them to watch the paint during the first quarter works. I guess they know I/we are noticing and trying not to interupt the flow of the game.
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